


fool me, fool me

by androdyke



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Archivist Sasha James, Chatting & Messaging, Fake/Pretend Relationship, He/Him Pronouns For Nonbinary Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings, Slow Burn, Texting, and very much so bc its rlly funny to me, anyway this is silly and self-indulgent jongerry, chatfic, gerry is mel's co-host on ghost hunt uk, jon and georgie are bffs first and bitter exes second, the archivist is like (invades your privacy just for fun), the magnus archives is a workplace comedy, twelfth night-style romcom miscommunications
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26924134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androdyke/pseuds/androdyke
Summary: jonathan sims:Remember when you said you’d do anything for me? Like, you meant it as a joke and you were sloshed out of your mind and i get that but you did say it? did you mean that?gdelano:uhgdelano:...what happened?jonathan sims:A LOT :(
Relationships: Georgie Barker & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Gerard Keay/Jonathan Sims, Gerard Keay/Jonathan “Jon” Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Tim Stoker, Melanie King & Jonathan Sims
Comments: 250
Kudos: 662





	1. dear, i fear

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this for fun and to be funny lets go jongerry supremacy

_TUES 17:58 PM_

_jonathan sims & gdelano message history: _

**jonathan sims:** Gerry.

**gdelano:** hello to u too

**jonathan sims:** I need to ask you something.

**gdelano:** this is so ominous lol

**jonathan sims:** remember that one time when you said you’d do anything for me? like, you meant it as a joke and you were sloshed out of your mind and i get that but you did say it? did you mean that?

**gdelano:** uh

**gdelano:**...what happened?

**jonathan sims:** A LOT :(

**gdelano:** shit jon, are you safe rn??

**jonathan sims:** yes yes im safe i just need your help with something at work

**gdelano:** and you couldn’t ask georgie?

**jonathan sims:** not really uh

**gdelano:** do you just need me to stand around and look intimidating? if someone said smth shitty to you im def willing to do that

**jonathan sims:** uhhhhhh

**gdelano:**?

**jonathan sims:** its sort of the opposite really

**gdelano:** oh _you_ said something shitty

**jonathan sims:** NO

**jonathan sims:** well okay like

**jonathan sims:** kind of

**gdelano:** ha

**jonathan sims:** shut up

**gdelano:** hahahahaha

**jonathan sims:** shut up shut up shut up

**gdelano:** why 

**jonathan sims:** LET ME EXPLAIN!

**jonathan sims:** gerry?

**jonathan sims:** you there?

**gdelano:** sorry i had to take a minute. told the dog how stupid u are

**jonathan sims:** fuck off

**gdelano:** well? explain then

**jonathan sims:** okay uhhhhhh

**jonathan sims:** this is embarrassing

**gdelano:** im sure

**jonathan sims:** so i just need your permission to lie about something really. just to make sure

**gdelano:** and what are u lying abt?

**jonathan sims:** uhhhhhhhhhh

**jonathan sims:** right so

**jonathan sims:** i’ll try to be brief

**jonathan sims:** so my coworkers are very nice people. not up for debate theyre very pleasant you know? sasha is a great head archivist and shes a good boss and very smart. martin is there. tim is also smart and hes friendly and he thinks hes so much funnier than he actually is. its all great. so great. so anyway! we’re all in the break room right? eating food. thats what people do in breakrooms and we are doing this. completely normal, all four of us, having a conversation. and i wasnt really talking but thats only because i had a sandwich to worry about. no other reason! so tim and martin and sasha are having a conversation and im getting breadcrumbs on myself basically and thats NORMAL. so they start talking about music, martin is giving his little recommendations and theyre NOT GOOD. ive never heard of halsey. and tim says something about one of these artists you couldnt pay me to recognize being gay culture. he says queen princess or whomever is gay culture

**jonathan sims:** and gerry. gerry it is so important that you know that i am NOT out at work. sweater vest goes on and the pride pins come off and i do a humiliating walk of shame down to the archives every morning. so tim says this and obviously im going to scoff about it because i have taste beyond watered-down pop music for white people and martin and i guess i was louder than i thought because everyone went silent and stared at me

**gdelano:** this is not brief

**jonathan sims:** and tim said “what? got a problem with that?” and im an idiot so i assume hes talking about MUSIC TASTE. i raise an eyebrow. sasha is glaring now and martin starts looking at the door and im thinking “wow alright these people have never listened to nine inch nails thats so embarrassing for them” and then tim goes “what?” and i go “not everything obnoxious is gay culture” and then i shut up and dont say any more because my mouth is full of sandwich and i dont talk with my mouth full like some kind of freak. so its silent for a second. and then martin gets up and LEAVES. HE LEAVES THE BREAKROOM.

**gdelano:** oh my god

**jonathan sims:** this was YESTERDAY. and i spent all of today getting the evil eye from sasha and tim, who think im homophobic

**gdelano:** oh my godddd

**jonathan sims:** and i need to tell them something to change their minds. and if i just come out to them randomly, they might think its a joke. and so i thought “well jon you’ve been with men! youve had plenty of boyfriends (which is to say one. one boyfriend)!” so my idea is that i lie and casually mention i have a boyfriend currently so they realize they misunderstood me and it all goes back to normal

**gdelano:** and i am that boyfriend

**jonathan sims:** YES i just wanted your permission before i lied about it and mentioned you. its fine if you say no, you can think about it for as long as you need

**gdelano:** give me a minute

**jonathan sims:** of course

**gdelano:** …

**gdelano:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 

**jonathan sims:** :(

**gdelano:** you’d rather lie your arse off than apologize to someone for being a weird little music elitist LMAOOOO

**jonathan sims:** >:(

**gdelano:** this is incredibly funny

**gdelano:** which is to that say that yes you have my blessing. lie away

**jonathan sims:** thank god

**jonathan sims:** and don't worry, you won't have to do anything. i’ll just lie once and everyone will let it blow over

**gdelano:** sick

**gdelano:** so

**gdelano:** which one of my nudes do u want for ur phone background

**jonathan sims:** gross




_WED 8:30 AM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**sarchivist:** tim, you almost here? martin and i didn’t show up early just to wait around for you

**tiiim:** no lol

**sarchivist:** i could have you fired, honestly

**tiiim:** you wouldnttttt ;)

**sarchivist:** unfortunately

**mkblackwood:** maybe sasha couldnt, but a few complaints filed by a coworker might do the trick

**tiiim:** nooooo

**mkblackwood:** a few notes to HR, maybe

**tiiim:** all for little old me?

**mkblackwood:** lol

**tiiim:** but srsly thats what you should be doing to jon

**sarchivist:** ^^

**mkblackwood:** guys, come on

**mkblackwood:** honestly we don’t KNOW that he meant it that way! 

**tiiim:** oh i think we do

**mkblackwood:** maybe he doesnt like my music taste! maybe he thinks something else is gay culture! 

**sarchivist:** martin i would have agreed with you, except for the last bit he said

**sarchivist:** “not everything obnoxious is gay” i mean, come on! thats hostile, we all felt it. even if hes the type of straight person who doesn't understand why that would be offensive, it doesn’t make it okay.

**mkblackwood:** idk maybe hes just a dick! we dont know that hes straight!

**tiiim:** if he wasnt he wouldve realized what he said

**tiiim:** and he wouldnt have spent a day moping around and not talking to any of us 

**mkblackwood:** i guess

**mkblackwood:** sucks because i thought he was cute :(

**sarchivist:** :(

**tiiim:** tragic




_WED 8:59 AM_

_jonathan sims & georgie! message history: _

**jonathan sims:** georgie, i’ve decided

**georgie!:** oh thats great!

**georgie!:** btw what the hell are you talking about?

**jonathan sims:** i've decided that i'm just going to apologize to martin

**jonathan sims:** i think the only real way to clear the air is to be honest with him and tell him what i was thinking

**georgie!:** sure? this sounds good

**jonathan sims:** i’m still going to lie about the boyfriend thing though

**jonathan sims:** just in case

**georgie!:** i see

**jonathan sims:** thank you georgie, this was very helpful

**georgie!:** okay i guess

**georgie!:** still don’t know what's going on

**georgie!:** man




_9:03 AM_

_georgie! and gdelano messaging history:_

**georgie!:** hey gerry?

**gdelano:** oh my god i’ve been waiting to tell u what he did its so fucking funny

**georgie!:** ah


	2. facing a problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **mkblackwood** : What

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to me, s1 jon is a little harlequin who causes problems :)

_WED 9:03_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**sarchivist:** he’s here

**mkblackwood:** tim?

**mkblackwood:** oh nvm jon just walked in

**tiiim:** 3 minutes late, jon? embarrassing

**sarchivist:** really, he should take after your shining example

**sarchivist:** tim stoker: never been late a day in his life

**tiiim:** obviously

**tiiim:** by the way i just headed out, should be there in an hour

**sarchivist:** coming in early today, i see

**mkblackwood:** hey guys? can we direct our attention to jon for a second?

**tiiim:** has he sat down? is he glaring at you lol

**mkblackwood:** no he's not making any eye contact… looking down at something 

**mkblackwood:** can’t really see it, but i think he’s on his phone?

**mkblackwood:** what’s he _doing_?

**sarchivist:** sweating

**sarchivist:** shaking like a leaf

**mkblackwood:** no i meant on the phone. he's just… staring? making a weird face?

**tiiim:** prob just googled “gay people”

**tiiim:** “gay people real?”

**sarchivist:** hes on webmd looking for a cure <3

**mkblackwood:** CLOSE ENOUGH. HE TEXTED ME?

**sarchivist:** holy shit

**sarchivist:** i wish i could be looking over your shoulder right now. god dammit send screenshots

**tiiim:** lol sasha in her head archivist office. locked in her little prison

**sarchivist:** been here since the day started like YOU should've been 

**tiiim:** gonna fire me about it, then?

**mkblackwood:** GUYS…

**mkblackwood:** [screenshot.png]

**mkblackwood:** um

**sarchivist:** huh




_WED 9:07_

_jonathan sims & mkblackwood message history: _

**jonathan sims:** Martin

**mkblackwood:** Hi Jon! Did you need something?

**jonathan sims:** Yes, I need to apologize




_WED 9:07_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**tiiim:** oh?

**sarchivist:** good! that's good!

**tiiim:** unless he’s got a shit apology

**tiiim:** a real “i'm sorry you felt that way” 

**sarchivist:** a good old “i didnt mean it like that, i have a gay friend”

**tiiim:** now you're getting it

**mkblackwood:** he looks so upset…

**mkblackwood:** maybe he feels bad?

**sarchivist:** hopefully! 

**mkblackwood:** he's been typing for So Long

**mkblackwood:** [screenshot.png]




_WED 9:10 AM_

_jonathan sims & mkblackwood message history: _

**jonathan sims:** It’s about what I said the other day. I want to apologize. I didn’t know you were gay. Or maybe you aren’t gay, and Tim is gay because Tim is the one who made the joke. Anyone could be gay and I don’t judge or know because I don’t know anything. I’m so sorry. I don’t know who Panic At The Disco is. How could it be gay culture, if I personally have never heard of it? That was presumptuous. I’m so sorry. It all comes down to what one would define as “gay culture”, doesn’t it? What defines culture, even? I’ve spent the past four minutes considering this in great detail, and I have decided that the variations within a subculture are too numerous and fluid to truly define. I don’t listen to songs. I do, I just lied and I’m sorry. But I don’t listen to the songs you listen to. Personally, I think the songs you listen to aren’t good and I don’t like them. But that’s okay because I know for a fact that you would not like any of the media I tend to consume on a regular basis. In fact, we know very little about each other. I think we may be completely different people. Back to the issue at hand, I didn’t mean it like that. I am so sorry. Also it is important to note that I was eating a sandwich at the time. It was a great sandwich, required chewing and swallowing and all the like. I believe I did not express myself clearly because I was multitasking between conversing and eating. I said very little because I try not to talk with my mouth full because that’s disgusting. Also, I don’t think you’re disgusting. Or Tim. Or Sasha. I shouldn’t have eaten that sandwich I am so sorry.

**jonathan sims:** Also I have a boyfriend.

**mkblackwood:** What




_WED 9:19 AM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES_ message history:

**mkblackwood:** WHAT IS THISSSS

**tiiim:** yeah i’m not reading all that

**tiiim:** hey boss what’s it say?

**sarchivist:** he apologized five times and none of them were for the right reason…

**mkblackwood:** “i shouldn’t have eaten that sandwich I am so sorry” what the hell. literally what the hell

**mkblackwood:** i can’t tell if he's joking, i really can’t

**sarchivist:** look at him, he looks so freaked out

**sarchivist:** is he smiling or grimacing? no idea

**tiiim:** so it’s got to be a joke then

**tiiim:** wait actually now i want to look at it

**mkblackwood:** it reads like he had a panic attack as he typed

**sarchivist:** this is almost funny. it’s also a shit apology

**sarchivist:** honestly, martin? i’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. if you’d like, i could try to have him moved back to research for another assistant. if jon can’t realize what he did wrong and apologize to you, you shouldn’t have to be around him all day.

**mkblackwood:** omg no sasha it’s fine! 

**mkblackwood:** i’m a bit annoyed to be fair, because it seems like he didn’t make much of an effort to actually take the blame but also? i’ve heard so much worse from so many other people that it doesn’t bother me much

**mkblackwood:** and i have you two! you’re great friends :)

**sarchivist:** awww martin :)

**tiiim:** guys. what about the boyfriend?

**sarchivist:** shit, right. does he actually?

**mkblackwood:**...no idea

**mkblackwood:** he’s never _mentioned_ a boyfriend? but he also doesn’t talk much about his personal life so maybe??

**sarchivist:** i mean, if he has a boyfriend we could probably conclude that he’s not homophobic at the very least

**sarchivist:** rude, but not homophobic

**tiiim:** right but what if he’s just saying that so he’ll be off the hook?

**tiiim:** like, he knows his apology was shit but if we think he’s not straight then we’ll chalk it up to misunderstanding

**mkblackwood:** i mean. that’s kind of ridiculous, no offense tim

**sarchivist:** only one way to find out. ask about the boyfriend!

**mkblackwood:** ok ok i’m asking




_WED 9:22_

_jonathan sims & mx.mel message history: _

**jonathan sims:** melanie, i’ve made a mistake :(

**mx.mel:** what else is new

**jonathan sims:** you can insult me later, i need your help

**mx.mel:** yeah? what’d you do

**jonathan sims:** so i was apologizing to a coworker for a comment I made two days ago

**mx.mel:** haven’t you had that job for like, a week? how did you already start shit

**jonathan sims:** i’ve worked at the institute for a few YEARS now so it’s different!! i just got transferred to the archives! 

**jonathan sims:** anyway

**jonathan sims:** i don’t think my apology went very well, i got nervous about the lie i was planning on telling and started rambling

**mx.mel:** first piece of advice: don’t lie when you’re apologizing you idiot

**jonathan sims:** no the context is important here, just listen! so i think i gave a bit of a shit apology, and i figured “hey, i need to talk to someone who’s great at apologizing for doing imbecilic shit constantly.” and then i remembered “hey, i'm friends with an influencer!” 

**mx.mel:** fuck off

**jonathan sims:** no. anyway i was thinking i would send you what i sent my coworker, and you could tell me what i should say to fix it?

**mx.mel:** i’m not an influencer. i’m an investigator

**jonathan sims:** seriously?

**mx.mel:** i do RESEARCH

**jonathan sims:** you’re insufferable. hold on, the coworker is replying




_WED 9:30 AM_

_mkblackwood & jonathan sims message history _

**mkblackwood:** A boyfriend?

**jonathan sims:** Yes

**jonathan sims:** I do have one




_WED 9:30 AM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**mkblackwood:** [screenshot.png]

**mkblackwood:** so it seems like he’s going with that?

**tiiim:** ask for proof

**sarchivist:** ^^^




_WED 9:31 AM_

_mkblackwood & jonathan sims message history: _

**mkblackwood:** Really? That’s great!

**jonathan sims:** Yeah

**mkblackwood:** What’s he like?




_WED 9:31 AM_

_jonathan sims & mx.mel message history: _

**jonathan sims:** [screenshot.png]

**jonathan sims:** [screenshot.png]

**jonathan sims:** [screenshot.png]

**jonathan sims:** what do i do

**mx.mel:** jesus fucking christ give me a minute to read all that

**mx.mel:** wow

**mx.mel:** well, your apology is so bad it’s comical. you should probably try again later. as for the boyfriend thing, if you admit that you lied about having one then they’re going to be pissed at you. you’ve dug your grave with this one really

**mx.mel:** so i guess just give very vague descriptions of a guy you might date? and in a week or two you can tell them that you guys broke it off so you won’t have to worry about keeping up the lie long-term

**jonathan sims:** so describing gerry should be fine, right?

**mx.mel:** HUH?

**mx.mel:** gerry? like my co-host on my show, gerry??

**jonathan sims:** it should be fine




_WED 9:39 AM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**mkblackwood:** so i asked him to describe his boyfriend and he isn’t responding…

**tiiim:** sus

**sarchivist:** sus

**mkblackwood:** wait, he’s typing




_WED 9:40 AM_

_martin blackwood & jonathan sims message history: _

**mkblackwood:** Jon?

**jonathan sims:** Sorry! I was just thinking

**jonathan sims:** His name is Gerard. He’s kind of short, pale, dark hair. He likes music and he’s quite nice.




_WED 9:42 AM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**mkblackwood:** [screenshot.png]

**sarchivist:** pale, dark hair, likes music…

**sarchivist:** GERARD WAY FROM MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE?

**tiiim:** does he think we’re stupid




_WED 9:42 AM_

_mkblackwood & jonathan sims message history: _

**jonathan sims:** He’s also got a lot of tattoos. Eyes on his knuckles and whatnot




_WED 9:43 AM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**mkblackwood:** [screenshot.png]

**sarchivist:** eye tattoos…

**sarchivist:** GERRY DELANO FROM GHOST HUNT UK??

**tiiim:** he DOES think we’re stupid

**mkblackwood:**...it could be a coincidence

**tiiim:** martin. my friend martin. how many men named gerard with eyeball tattoos do _you_ know?

**mkblackwood:** …

**sarchivist:** the fact that he’s being so vague about the description makes me think he’s lying. if he was really dating the guy from ghost hunk uk, he would’ve just said so yeah?

**tiiim:** god i know he’s not using his parasocial relationship with a youtuber to lie his way out of a proper apology. i know he’s not

**sarchivist:** …

**mkblackwood:** …

**mkblackwood:** it could be something else? what if he IS dating gerry delano?

**sarchivist:** what if the earth was made of jello

**mkblackwood:** -_-

**tiiim:** martin is there something you can do to get more proof? don’t make it too obvious

**mkblackwood:** i do have one idea. hold on




_WED 9:45 AM_

_mkblackwood & jonathan sims message history: _

**mkblackwood:** I’m happy for you, Jon! He sounds really nice!

**jonathan sims:** Thank you :)




_WED 9:45 AM_

_jonathan sims & mx.mel message history: _

**jonathan sims:** i think he bought it! thank you melanie

**mx.mel:** uh you’re welcome i guess




_WED 9:46 AM_

_mkblackwood & jonathan sims message history: _

**mkblackwood:** In fact, I’d love to meet him!

**jonathan sims:** Oh

**mkblackwood:** Sasha and Tim were planning on having an archival staff drinking night tonight. We’re going out to that pub down the street around 8, you could bring him along if he’s not busy!




_WED 9:46 AM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**mkblackwood:** [screenshot.png]

**mkblackwood:** >:)

**tiiim:** LMAO MARTIN

**tiiim:** YOU GOT HIM

**sarchivist:** right so either we meet jon’s boyfriend tonight or we laugh at him for the rest of his life




_WED 9:47 AM_

_jonathan sims & mx.mel message history: _

**jonathan sims:** [screenshot.png]

**jonathan sims:** NEVERMIND 

**mx.mel:** NO WAY LMFAO

**jonathan sims:** DON’T LAUGH AT ME THIS IS SERIOUS. HOW DO I TURN HIM DOWN WITHOUT BEING SUSPICIOUS

**mx.mel:** LOL I DONT THINK YOU CAN? 

**jonathan sims:** I’M A BAD LIAR AND GERRY IS A BAD LIAR AND WE’LL BE DRINKING! THIS IS SO BAD!

**mx.mel:** i told you to be vague, not describe a person they’re likely to _know_ already. now if you don’t show, they’re gonna be suspicious and figure out that you lied.

**mx.mel:** why pick gerry anyway? 

**jonathan sims:** i mean, he was the first person that came to mind. i’d already asked him and he said it’s be fine if i lied about him

**mx.mel:** okay sure, but you could’ve just made up a guy

**jonathan sims:** …

**mx.mel:** didn’t think of that, did you

**jonathan sims:** i was nervous

**mx.mel:** lol

**mx.mel:** anyway go RSVP to your banquet of lies jon

**jonathan sims:** ugh




_WED 9:50 AM_

_jonathan sims & gdelano message history: _

**jonathan sims:** [screenshot.png]

**gdelano:** oh my god

**jonathan sims:** not so funny now, is it

**gdelano:** still kind of is. should i wear makeup

**jonathan sims:** fuck it, sure




_WED 9:52 AM_

_mkblackwood & jonathan sims message history: _

**jonathan sims:** We’ll be there.

**mkblackwood:** Great! Can’t wait to meet him :)




_WED 10:01 AM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**tiiim:** just walked in. why does jon have his head facedown on the desk?

**sarchivist:** HAHA


	3. make you do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **tiiim:** personally, i’m excited to meet whatever poor bastard from grindr that jon convinced to draw eyes on his knuckles in sharpie

_ WED 19:30 PM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history: _

**tiiim:** soooo how much do we want to bet that hes a no-show?

**sarchivist:** i mean, does anyone actually think he’ll pull through? do we REALLY think he’s going to bring gerry bloody delano out from the woodworks of wherever that man lives for this?

**tiiim:** personally, i’m excited to meet whatever poor bastard from grindr that jon convinces to draw eyes on his knuckles in sharpie

**sarchivist:** really putting in the work for his deception lol

**mkblackwood:** it’s crazy, but part of me honestly thinks that he actually knows gerry somehow

**mkblackwood:** like, maybe they have a mutual friend and he’s asking gerry this favor as an elaborate lie

**tiiim:** martin

**tiiim:** no offense but

**sarchivist:** that doesn’t really make sense

**tiiim:** ^^^

**sarchivist:** because gerry specifically is someone that everyone in supernatural/paranormal circles knows. he probably just got overzealous and said whatever came to mind lol

**tiiim:** besides, why would  _ jon _ of all people be friends with gerry? jon dresses like an old lady, do you really think that doesn’t carry to his relationship with technology

**tiiim:** i’d be surprised if jon watched ANYTHING on youtube, let alone Ghost Hunt UK

**mkblackwood:** tim come on that’s a bit of a stretch

**mkblackwood:** but i guess i cant really imagine the guy who said he goes to bed at 9PM every night and gerry delano ever knowing each other. so youre probably right

**sarchivist:** you two are vicious today

**tiiim:** always am ;)

**tiiim:** anyway do you reckon he’ll show up early? i’ve staked out a spot already and i’m watching the door like it’s my job

**mkblackwood:** you’re already there?

**sarchivist:** oh so you’re late for work half the time, but early for drinks? 

**tiiim:** yeah i think i’ve got my priorities in order

**mkblackwood:** so you’re just sitting alone in a pub on a wednesday night? 

**tiiim:** well when you put it like that

**mkblackwood:** it’s sad?

**tiiim:** mean! just hurry up




_ WED 19:35 PM _

_ georgie! & jonathan sims message history: _

**georgie!:** you’re heading out, right? 

**georgie!:** stay safe, have fun, love you, etc etc!

**jonathan sims:** yes, thank you :)

**jonathan sims:** this is so stressful though :(

**georgie!:** :(

**georgie!:** there’s probably still some way you can get out of it? you can’t possibly HAVE to go

**jonathan sims:** oh but we do

**jonathan sims:** personally, i don’t want to have to quit my job, change my name, and disappear from London entirely. so my only alternative is that i show up with gerry

**georgie!:** hmm

**georgie!:** maybe just don’t drink then? 

**georgie!:** or at least gerry shouldn’t. you could probably get away with saying weird and suspicious shit to your coworkers while drunk, i think

**jonathan sims:** right. do you really think that's going to happen?

**georgie!:** damn it

**georgie:** properly fucked this one up, haven’t you?

**jonathan sims:** :(

**georgie!:** alright well, good luck

**georgie!:** i’m not busy tonight btw. shoot me a text whenever and i can come pick you guys up. what’s the address?

**jonathan sims:** [ _ link _ ] thank you!

**georgie!:** anything for my least favorite ex boyfriend <3

**jonathan sims:** ...is that me :(

**georgie!:** depends on the day, really

**jonathan sims:** wow alright, love you too

**georgie!:** mwah mwah

**georgie!:** anyway good luck again! you guys have your story straight right? how you met, how long you’ve been together, etc etc?

**jonathan sims:** well

**georgie!:** JON

**jonathan sims:** its fine! its fine! we’re going a bit early anyway, so we’ll have time to figure it out before anyone gets there

**georgie!:** all right, all right

**georgie!:** one more thing

**jonathan sims:** yes?

**georgie!:** this is really  _ really _ stupid




_ WED 19:45 PM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:  _

**tiiim:** you all made fun of me

**tiiim:** you all laughed

**tiiim:** but who’s laughing now? when i’ve got my sights on jon, who decided to come early JUST LIKE I SAID

**tiiim:** that sneaky bastard

**mkblackwood:** i feel like at this point me and sasha are just late

**mkblackwood:** also i don’t see how coming early would help him?

**sarchivist:** could be trying to chat up some random guy, convince him into identity theft for a night

**sarchivist:** or maybe he just wanted to be drunk before we got there so he could leave early?

**tiiim:** hmmmm

**tiiim:** maybe, but he’s not coming inside

**tiiim:** he’s faced away from me, lingering at the door. i think he’s talking to someone?

**mkblackwood:** who?

**tiiim:** don’t know, i can’t see them from here

**sarchivist:** omg watch it actually be gerry

**tiiim:** god can you imagine




_ WED 19:45 PM _

_ jonathan sims & gdelano message history: _

**jonathan sims:** right, so we should come up with some sort of backstory before we go in, shouldn’t we?

**gdelano:** yeah that would probably help

**gdelano:** why are we texting though, ur in front of me

**jonathan sims:** if someone hears us???

**gdelano:** who? who is going to hear this and care?

**jonathan sims:** i don’t KNOW! someone!! i dont know!!

**gdelano:** hey its alright, its alright

**gdelano:** it’ll be fine jon, i’m here

**jonathan sims:** right, thank you

**gdelano:** we can text then, its fine

**jonathan sims:** just

**jonathan sims:** take this seriously

**gdelano:** i rlly dont think i can lolll

**gdelano:** theyre prob going to have a lot of questions

**jonathan sims:** ...yeah

**jonathan sims:** the way we met can be the same i think, and we can say we got together very recently

**gdelano:** like how recent

**jonathan sims:** ummmmm

**jonathan sims:** last week?

**jonathan sims:** ah wait no

**gdelano:** why no? that works for me

**jonathan sims:** no because melanie gave me advice earlier, and she said we should “break up” in about a week so we don’t have to keep up the lie

**gdelano:** naturally

**jonathan sims:** so wouldn’t it look weird if we break up just as we got together? not a substantial enough relationship to really make the lie work

**gdelano:** idk ive had some pretty short relationships. havent you?

**jonathan sims:** my shortest relationship was with georgie and it lasted 2 years

**gdelano:** jesus

**gdelano:** well consider this. if they think youve ended a rlly LONG relationship, theyre gonna try to comfort you and be there for you and shit

**jonathan sims:** ew

**jonathan sims:** how about a month?

**gdelano:** yeah that works

**jonathan sims:** okay great! 

**jonathan sims:** what else could they ask?

**jonathan sims:** are you cold?

**gdelano:** theyre not gonna ask that

**jonathan sims:** no no i’m asking. you look like youre cold

**gdelano:** im not

**jonathan sims:** really? because last time i checked you get cold very easily

**jonathan sims:** oh? what was that?

**gdelano:** it’s allergy season one sneeze means nothing

**jonathan sims:** sure sure

**jonathan sims:** come on, let’s go in

**gdelano:** you sure? you were worried before

**jonathan sims:** i wasn’t worried i never worry. we’re early anyway. no way that they’ll be here already, if tim coming in late to work constantly is anything to go by

**gdelano:** fine fine

**gdelano:** you’re paying for my drinks right

**jonathan sims:** with how much  _ you _ drink? no




_ WED 19:47 PM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:  _

**tiiim:** shit, he’s coming in

**mkblackwood:** is anyone with him??? do we see a boyfriend?

**tiiim:** hold on

**tiiim:** no way

**sarchivist:** what?

**tiiim:** NO FUCKING WAY

**mkblackwood:** holy shit

**tiiim:** this has to be a trick somehow

**tiiim:** [photo.png]

**tiiim:** am i seeing things

**sarchivist:** NO

**mkblackwood:** OH MY GOD

**sarchivist:** HE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH??

**tiiim:** it may not be him it still may not be him

**tiiim:** this guy is putting an arm around jon

**tiiim:** …i see the eye tattoos

**mkblackwood:** HELP HELP ITS REALLY HIM

**sarchivist:** HOW?

**tiiim:** insane literally insane

**tiiim:** they haven’t spotted me yet. god they're making eyes at each other, this is surreal. i feel like i'm being pranked

**sarchivist:** well? call him over!




_ WED 19:50 PM _

_ tiiim & jonathan sims message history: _

**tiiim:** hey jon i see you!

**tiiim:** i’m to your left, towards the back

**tiiim:** i see you brought your boyfriend

**jonathan sims:** yes gerry is my boyfriend

**jonathan sims:** i like him

**tiiim:** you been drinking already?

**jonathan sims:** no but i’d love to be

**tiiim:** that’s the spirit! get over here




_ WED 19:59 PM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history: _

**mkblackwood:** just walked in! i see you guys :)

**mkblackwood:** um. are you guys okay?

**sarchivist:** fuck this fucking traffic i SWEAR

**sarchivist:** sorry guys, i’m going to be a bit late. what’s going on over there martin? is it really gerry delano?

**mkblackwood:** ummm it is yeah. theyre just sitting there? tim and gerry delano are staring at each other

**mkblackwood:** oh. it was a staring contest. gerry just won

**sarchivist:** good to know tim’s not the only one who turns into a literal child when he drinks

**mkblackwood:** aww jon is leaning on gerry. he looks so happy :)

**mkblackwood:** actually i’ve never seen him this happy. or this hammered

**sarchivist:** im glad hes happy!

**sarchivist:** with gerard delano! from my favorite fucking channel ghost hunk uk! insane!

**mkblackwood:** god i know

**mkblackwood:** i “predicted” this but i’m still in total shock

**mkblackwood:** uh ok i just sat down and gerry looked at me. and just started laughing? 

**tiiim:** HI

**sarchivist:** hi tim

**mkblackwood:** hi tim

**tiiim:** that was for sasha not yoy

**tiiim:** fuckyou

**mkblackwood:** ok tim

**sarchivist:** are you having fun?

**tiiim:** yeahhhhhhhhhhh

**tiiim:** gerry’s cool. idk why hes w jon

**sarchivist:** does he look unhappy with jon?

**tiiim:** NO its weird hes SO happy

**tiiim:** bad tast for real

**sarchivist:** _ SO _ happy?

**mkblackwood:** jon is trying to convince us that human fingers grow back when u cut them off and gerry is just on his shoulder looking like he believes it jesus fucking christ

**mkblackwood:** jon seems to believe it too…

**mkblackwood:** “its like lizards! ever met a lizard? martin, you’ve heard of lizards haven’t you? wonderful people, they are. fingers for tails.”

**sarchivist:** HA

**sarchivist:** so i guess that solves the issue then

**sarchivist:** jon’s not homophobic or a liar, he’s just stupid

**sarchivist:** also, i'm walking in right now

**mkblackwood:** i see you! thank god, im putting my phone away now

**mkblackwood:** “most animals are all just the same animal, but they’re different” -jon, just now

**mkblackwood:** i need a drink




_ WED 23:49 PM _

_ jonathan sims & georgie! message history: _

**jonathan sims** : g

**jonathan sims:** eorgie

**georgie!:** right, im on my way




_ THURS 00:03 AM _

_ gdelano & jonathan sims message history: _

**gdelano:** hey jon idk when you'll see these but i went back to my flat instead of staying over at georgies jsyk

**gdelano:** good luck with yr hangover lol

**gdelano:** also it went pretty well today? they didnt ask any questions or anything which was shocking

**gdelano:** whatever i wont look a gift horse in the mouth. but yeah everything is going to be fine, see? 

**gdelano:** we just need to wait a week and then itll be over completely

**gdelano:** ok actually thisis a lot of msgs sorry bye

**gdelano:** sleep well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> best way 2 detect a lie is 2 get drunk and also be on your phone the whole time, obviously


	4. stick to another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **sarchivist:** ahhhh this is so exciting!!
> 
> **sarchivist:** i just really really need to Know!!!

_ THURS 9:01 AM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:  _

**tiiim:** hrrhrhrgghhhhh

**mkblackwood:** good morning tim

**sarchivist:** good morning tim

**sarchivist:** good to see you at work on time for once

**tiiim:** shut Up SHUT UP

**sarchivist:** well that’s no way to talk to your boss, now is it?

**tiiim:** my head hurts. fuck this world 

**mkblackwood:** shit tim, you need a glass of water or something?

**tiiim:** i need to die

**sarchivist:** you know, nobody  _ told _ you to drink so much. you made that decision on your own, sir

**tiiim:** its not like it was JUST me dammit

**tiiim:** gerry and jon drank themselves stupid

**tiiim:** and where are they? hm?

**mkblackwood:** gerry doesn’t work here

**tiiim:** SHUT

**sarchivist:** actually yeah, come to think of it i haven't heard from jon

**sarchivist:** martin, you know if he’s coming in today?

**mkblackwood:** not sure, i haven’t heard from him either

**mkblackwood:** last i saw him was last night, i think he and gerry got picked up by a coworker or someone

**sarchivist:** a coworker? i don’t remember anyone else we know being there

**mkblackwood:** idk

**mkblackwood:** might not have been, i just recognized her voice from somewhere..




_ THURS 9:10 AM _

_ jonathan sims & sarchivist message history: _

**jonathan sims:** Hello, Sasha. I’m just messaging to let you know that I will not be able to make it to work today. A personal matter has come up and I feel that I will be unable to spend the day at the office given the specific circumstances. Thank you for understanding, and please let me know if there is anything I will need to do to make up for this absence.

**sarchivist:** lol are you hungover

**jonathan sims:** yeah :(

**sarchivist:** it’s okay! stay home, rest, feel better! also tell gerry i said hi :)

**jonathan sims:** :)




_ THURS 9:15 AM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history: _

**sarchivist:** jon isn’t coming in today, just letting you both know!

**sarchivist:** i’ll try to get a handle on the follow-up he’s been doing this week, but if i call one of you into my office just know it’ll be for help with that! also martin if you would, see what you can dig up on the location of that corn maze statement i recorded on monday? i’ve attached a list of possible areas and contacts to the file, but i’d love if you could narrow it down a bit! but of course, i know you’re short on sleep. don’t worry too much about it today, it’s not a time-sensitive case! tim, just take a nap. you look like you need it

**mkblackwood:** sure thing sasha!

**tiiim:** finally some important work

**sarchivist:** cherish it, this is the one time i’m letting you off the hook for being hungover

**tiiim:** wow. was the jon and gerry situation  _ that _ important?

**sarchivist:** obviously! and what a situation it was…

**mkblackwood:** now that i think of it, we didnt even get any info on  _ how _ or  _ why _ they got together

**sarchivist:** oh damn that’s right :/

**sarchivist:** i was so caught up in the rush of meeting jon’s boyfriend AND gerry delano simultaneously that i forgot to ask them anything…

**tiiim:** and i was drunk

**sarchivist:** very

**mkblackwood:** well, we can always ask jon about it tomorrow can’t we?

**sarchivist:** oh definitely

**sarchivist:** i don’t think we need proof or anything, but i’m just happy for them :)

**mkblackwood:** me too! 

**sarchivist:** anyway! i have spooky shit to look after. i’ll be in my office with the door unlocked if you need me




_ THURS 11:30 AM _

_ jonathan sims & gdelano message history: _

**jonathan sims:** good morning!

**gdelano:** morning! 

**gdelano:** i’ve been up tho

**jonathan sims:** same here, but my headache only just subsided. i still feel dead on my feet though

**gdelano:** wow imagine having hangovers

**jonathan sims:** ugh don’t rub it in

**gdelano:** no no i mean it. devastated that im not a horrible lightweight

**gdelano:** i drink as much as i want and never feel the consequences later. so sad so sad

**jonathan sims:** you're mean

**jonathan sims:** i tell you i’m in PAIN and you mock me, unbelievable

**gdelano:** anything for u <3

**jonathan sims:** -_-

**gdelano:** lmaooo anyway

**gdelano:** stayed home today?

**jonathan sims:** clearly

**jonathan sims:** even without the hangover i’m fucking exhausted from yesterday

**gdelano:** yeah? we didnt end up outright lying that much i dont think

**jonathan sims:** we didnt, but just  _ thinking _ about it constantly

**jonathan sims:** ughhhhhhhhh felt awful

**jonathan sims:** whatever. you know how i get

**gdelano:** :(

**jonathan sims:** but you were right, just a week and then we can forget about it entirely. i’ll be alright

**gdelano:** :)

**gdelano:** what can i say im always right

**jonathan sims:** well

**gdelano:** its true no exceptions shut up jon

**jonathan sims:** i’ll let you believe it

**jonathan sims:** are you busy today?

**gdelano:** not especially, just going over some footage and planning bonus content

**gdelano:** it’s my turn to do the bonus episode as well, so i’m thinking about what to talk about for that

**jonathan sims:** the last one where you talked about that unsolved murder was good, could do something similar?

**jonathan sims:** or teach your audience of impressionable people how to make explosives like you promised

**gdelano:** look i said that ONE time

**gdelano:** not my fault it became a meme :/ not going to  _ do  _ it

**jonathan sims:** oh why not? you’re no fun

**gdelano:** says you

**gdelano:** but really if you’re free all day you could come record the bonus ep with me? i like it better when i’m not just talking to myself

**jonathan sims:** i don’t want to be on the internet :(

**jonathan sims:** sorry

**gdelano:** its fine its fine

**gdelano:** still come over tho?

**jonathan sims:** always :)




_ THURS 2:33 PM _

_ jonathan sims & mkblackwood message history: _

**jonathan sims:** melanie.

**jonathan sims:** gerry blocked my number because i called him short can you tell him to unblock me and also tell him to stop pretending to cry from across the room because i'm this close to throwing something at him 

**mkblackwood:** ...what

**jonathan sims:** wait




_ THURS 2:34 PM _

_ jonathan sims & mx.mel message history:  _

**jonathan sims:** there we go

**jonathan sims:** gerry blocked my number because i called him short can you tell him to unblock me and also tell him to stop pretending to cry from across the room because i'm this close to throwing something at him 

**jonathan sims:** he’s here now he’s grabbing for my phone this is time sensitive

**mx.mel:** you know i feel like if he’s trying to steal your phone, he won’t be looking at his

**jonathan sims:** HFJFG

**mx.mel:** and he’s got him

**mx.mel:** the hell am i supposed to do?

**jonathan sims:** hi

**mx.mel:** hey gerry

**jonathan sims:** no its me jonathan sims the archival assistant

**jonathan sims:** hold on martin is texting




_ THURS 2:35 PM _

_ jonathan sims & mkblackwood message history: _

**mkblackwood:** a lot to unpack there

**jonathan sims:** hi

**mkblackwood:** hi jon?

**jonathan sims:** thats me i am jon

**mkblackwood:** ..that’s great? never said you weren’t!

**jonathan sims:** oh you’re too nice i can’t lie to you

**jonathan sims:** [photo.png]

**mkblackwood:** oh! hello gerry!

**mkblackwood:** thank you for your honesty, i guess :)

**jonathan sims:** oh yeah it was really tearing me up

**jonathan sims:** horrible at lying, i’d never do it

**mkblackwood:** well, honesty is good!

**mkblackwood:** also is jon okay?

**jonathan sims:** oh yeah hes great never better

**mkblackwood:** what are you guys doing anyway?

**jonathan sims:** work

**mkblackwood:** doesn’t look like work

**jonathan sims:** doesn’t it?

**mkblackwood:** looks like you’ve got jon in a headlock

**jonathan sims:** its very important ghost business martin, i wouldnt expect u to understand

**mkblackwood:** wow okay

**jonathan sims:** anywayJSSJDJDJKFKGFH

**jonathan sims:** I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THAT

**mkblackwood:** oh hey jon! welcome back!

**jonathan sims:** thanks

**jonathan sims:** turning off my phone now

**mkblackwood:** yeah that's probably a good idea




_ THURS 2:45 PM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history: _

**mkblackwood:** apparently jon is friends with melanie king too

**mkblackwood:** i guess it’s not surprising? like, considering him being gerry’s boyfriend it makes sense that he knows melanie

**mkblackwood:** but i just figured hey! that’s  _ one _ new thing we sort of know about jon now!

**sarchivist:** omg that’s perfect then!

**sarchivist:** i still have melanie king’s contact info from a previous thing, i could ask her about gerry and jon!!

**mkblackwood:** oh, didn’t even think of that!

**sarchivist:** wait. that’s not creepy, is it?

**sarchivist:** i’m curious, but i don’t want to overstep any boundaries

**mkblackwood:** i guess it just depends on what you ask? if you just ask about how they met, how they know melanie, etc then i don’t think it’s invasive personally

**mkblackwood:** and also, if something is too personal i feel like melanie just won’t tell you about it. it’s not like you have some way of  _ forcing _ her to tell you things

**sarchivist:** yeah, you’re right martin! thank you!

**sarchivist:** ahhhh this is so exciting!!

**sarchivist:** i just really really need to  _ Know _ !!!




_ THURS 3:30 PM _

_ sarchivist & mx.mel message history: _

**sarchivist:** Hi, Melanie! How have you been? Hope I’m not interrupting you in anything important, I just had a few questions that I thought you could help me with?

**mx.mel:** Hey, Sasha! Good to hear from you, I’m doing well! And yeah, I’m free to talk for a few minutes.

**mx.mel:** Is this a research-related question?

**sarchivist:** Oh no, nothing like that. It’s actually not professional at all, so feel free to ignore me haha

**sarchivist:** I’ve just been wondering about Jon and Gerry! I only found out they were dating recently, so I’ve been wondering how long they’ve been together? 




_ THURS 3:33 PM _

_ London’s Sweethearts (and gerry) message history:  _

**mx.mel:** [screenshot.png]

**mx.mel:** what do i say??

**gdelano:** tell her we’ve been together for years

**jonathan sims:** oh yeah, decades even

**gdelano:** ^^ 

**gdelano:** lovers in every past life

**mx.mel:** seriously?

**gdelano:** 100%

**mx.mel:** right then, i’ll just tell her that exactly

**jonathan sims:** WAIT DONT ACTUALLY

**mx.mel:** HAHAHA

**gdelano:** dammit jon u broke character

**jonathan sims:** :(

**jonathan sims:** can’t blame ME! you never know what asinine shit melanie is about to pull!

**mx.mel:** HEY

**georgie!:** right so do none of you people do work?

**mx.mel:** i do!! i just get sidetracked by these pieces of shit

**gdelano:** i dont do work lol

**mx.mel:** great look for the brand, gerry. thanks a lot

**mx.mel:** so what should i  _ actually _ tell her?

**jonathan sims:** about a month. stuff about how we met can be the same

**mx.mel:** got it




_ THURS 3:37 PM _

_ sarchivist & mx.mel message history:  _

**mx.mel:** They’ve been together for about a month now!

**sarchivist:** Oh, that’s wonderful :)

**sarchivist:** So I guess that’s how you and Jon know each other? Through Gerry?

**mx.mel:** Well

**mx.mel:** I actually met Gerry through Jon, who I met through Georgie Barker

**sarchivist:** Like from What the Ghost?

**mx.mel:** That’s the one. Everyone in the “paranormal entertainment” type circles end up knowing each other eventually

**sarchivist:** I can imagine. But why is Jon in that circle?

**mx.mel:** Oh, it’s because he and Georgie are really close.

**mx.mel:** Also I have to go, sorry!

**sarchivist:** Oh no, that’s fine! Have a great day!

**mx.mel:** You too




_ THURS 2:41 PM _

_ London’s Sweethearts (and gerry) message history: _

**mx.mel:** good god jon your boss is nosy

**jonathan sims:** she’s nice :(

**mx.mel:** nice AND nosy

**mx.mel:** her questions weren’t weird or invasive or anything, but i guess it was the way she asked them? i felt almost compelled to answer

**gdelano:** oh weird

**gdelano:** you ok?

**mx.mel:** yeah i’m good! said everything you told me and she bought it

**gdelano:** good! thats good




_ THURS 2:41 PM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history: _

**sarchivist:** man

**mkblackwood:** ?

**sarchivist:** talked to melanie, now i just have more questions. she had to go pretty abruptly which was probably a sign that she didn’t want me to pry anymore but MAN how does jon know georgie barker? and how does he know gerry?

**mkblackwood:** georgie barker from what the ghost?

**sarchivist:** YEAH georgie barker from what the ghost!

**mkblackwood:** well, if jon hasn’t told us maybe he doesn’t want us to know?

**mkblackwood:** or he forgot to. could be either one, knowing him

**sarchivist:** yeah he didn’t tell us about gerry for a while, but once he remembered to, he didn’t have any issue with us knowing and meeting him. so i think it’s likely the second thing

**mkblackwood:** you’re right. and we’ll back off if he tells us to so it’s not a creepy thing

**sarchivist:** exactly!

**mkblackwood:** so we’re asking jon about it tomorrow then?

**sarchivist:** no i have a better idea

**sarchivist:** let’s ask gerry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> archivist sasha go brrrrrrr


	5. surely deserves me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **jonathan sims:** i just think we seem like too healthy of a couple. we’re too happy and we need dysfunction to make the inevitable breakup seem realistic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how do i format transcripts on ao3. pain pain pain <3

_ THURS 3:45 PM _

_ sarchivist & gdelano message history: _

**sarchivist:** Hi, Gerry! Hope you’re not busy!

**gdelano:** hey sasha

**gdelano:** so what did jon do?

**sarchivist:** Sorry?

**gdelano:** ...is he okay

**gdelano:** shit

**sarchivist:** Jon didn’t do anything! He’s fine!! I just wanted to talk to you, actually!

**gdelano:** cool




_ THURS 3:47 PM _

_ London’s Sweethearts (and gerry) message history: _

**gdelano:** mel was right this lady is fucking nosy

**mx.mel:** see? what did i tell you

**mx.mel:** also wait why is she texting you, she just talked to me like an hour ago 

**mx.mel:** tell her youre busy

**gdelano:** okay




_ THURS 3:48 PM _

_ sarchivist & gdelano message history: _

**sarchivist:** Great! Just let me know if I’m being too intrusive, but I was talking to Melanie earlier and she mentioned that she met you and Jon through Georgie Barker. I’m so curious to know how you and Jon know her?

**gdelano:** uhhh so jon and georgie knew each other in uni and theyve been friends since then and i was in the same sort of music scene as them around the same time so we just ended up talking a lot. 

**sarchivist:** Jon and Georgie were friends in uni? Never would have expected that!

**gdelano:** yeah

**gdelano:** btw i am not jon or georgie

**sarchivist:** Shit, you’re right. Sorry, I won’t pry anymore!




_ THURS 3:50 PM _

_ London’s Sweethearts (and gerry) message history: _

**gdelano:** [screenshot.png]

**gdelano:** i think shes done now

**gdelano:** wait nvm




_ THURS 3:55 PM _

_ sarchivist & gdelano message history: _

**sarchivist:** I do want to be friends, though. You and Jon are really good for each other, if meeting you both last night was anything to go by! You clearly love each other a lot :)

**gdelano:** oh

**gdelano:** yeah i rlly do

**sarchivist:** I’m glad! Jon’s a great guy, but I never saw him as the affectionate type before, you know? 

**gdelano:** i’ve been told he’s pretty different at work

**sarchivist:** SO different! I saw you two holding hands and attached at the hip the entire night and I was like, “Hello? Is this the same guy?!”

**gdelano:** yeah he’s very sweet to me

**gdelano:** cant recall a time when he wasnt, actually

**sarchivist:** Awww! :)

**sarchivist:** Damn it, I’ve actually got some stuff I need to do before I leave work today, so I’ll have to go. Great talking with you, though!

**gdelano:** you too :)

**sarchivist:** And hey, if you ever need any research material, the Archives has you covered! Paranormal investigators gotta stick together! :P

**gdelano:** thank you!

**gdelano:** actually that gives me an idea, can i ask a favor? i just need someone from the archives to help me work on something




_ THURS 3:55 PM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history: _

**sarchivist:** who wants to help gerry with something he’s working on?

**mkblackwood:** ME

**tiiim:** ME

**sarchivist:** martin said it first lol

**tiiim:** NOT FAIR FUCK YOU

**mkblackwood:** !!!!!

**mkblackwood:** wait whats the project what am i working on

**sarchivist:** idk he didn’t tell me

**sarchivist:** maybe a threesome

**tiiim:** martin you lucky bastard

**mkblackwood:** how do i know how to help if he didnt tell you!!!!

**sarchivist:** hey, it’s okay! i’ll get him to text you about it rn!

**mkblackwood:** hhhg

**mkblackwood:** ohhh look at me! about to text  _ gerry delano _

**sarchivist:** you have no need to worry! he’s nice and  _ really _ good at his job

**mkblackwood:** h




_ THURS 4:00 PM _

_ sarchivist & gdelano message history: _

**sarchivist:** [ _ contact _ ]

**sarchivist:** here’s Martin’s number!

**sarchivist:** I know you met him already, but he’s the best! Masters in parapsychology and everything!

**gdelano:** oh good for him

**gdelano:** thanks sasha! 

**sarchivist:** No problem!




_ THURS 4:01 PM _

_ gdelano & mkblackwood message history: _

**gdelano:** hey martin its gerry, sasha gave me ur number

**mkblackwood:** hey! yeah, she just let me know!

**gdelano:** sick

**mkblackwood:** what was it you needed help with?

**gdelano:** ok so

**gdelano:** idk if you even watch ghost hunt uk, much less if ur subscribed to the patreon. but we do bonus episodes for ppl who donate $15+ a month and theyre p much just an audio recording of me talking abt whatever i want for an hour. fun stuff. so i already know what i wanna do and i got all the research etc etc i just wanted to see if someone from the archives would b willing to be on the episode w me

**gdelano:** its rlly easy, i just dont like doing them by myself

**mkblackwood:** oh i’d love to! sounds like a lot of fun

**gdelano:** hell yeah

**gdelano:** and that parapsychology degree might help 

**mkblackwood:** right haha

**gdelano:** u free tmrw morning around 10? its fine if u cant skip work for a bit, we can just wait a day

**mkblackwood:** no no its fine! 

**mkblackwood:** see you then!

**gdelano:** :)




_ FRI 8:45 AM _

_ gdelano & jonathan sims message history: _

**gdelano:** good morning good morning 

**jonathan sims:** hi :)!

**jonathan sims:** youre happy today

**gdelano:** yeah i just cant wait to replace you with martin

**jonathan sims:** ah

**jonathan sims:** you joke, but who will be laughing when he asks you to listen to cavetown?

**gdelano:** ur so mean to him and for what?

**jonathan sims:** oh like you wouldn’t say the same things if you were in my place

**gdelano:** i WOULDNT

**gdelano:** very important that u know i wouldnt start any of the shit u started this week i am too smart

**jonathan sims:** sure

**jonathan sims:** anyway, are you recording the bonus episode with him?

**gdelano:** yeah im gonna come steal him around 10

**jonathan sims:** i’ll keep an eye out for you

**jonathan sims:** he’s just keeping you company then?

**gdelano:** yeah keeping a seat warm

**gdelano:** i mean i guess i could’ve asked him to help with the info for the episode cause its kinda relevant but like

**gdelano:** idk

**gdelano:** i just dont like being alone

**jonathan sims:** i understand that

**gdelano:** well

**gdelano:** whatever!

**gdelano:** the topic of the episode is so funny btw

**jonathan sims:** what is it?

**gdelano:** its so good

**jonathan sims:** what is ittttt

**gdelano:** gertrude robinsons unsolved murder LMAOOO

**jonathan sims:** IS IT ACTUALLY?

**jonathan sims:** goddd martin is going to be sweating bullets

**jonathan sims:** gerry please im asking so nicely. send me the audio file for the episode when its done

**gdelano:** youll see it when it comes out wont you?

**jonathan sims:** :(

**gdelano:** oh thats right

**gdelano:** SOMEONES not subscribed to the ghuk patreon. unbelievable

**jonathan sims:** listen

**gdelano:** i would subscribe. georgie subscribed.

**jonathan sims:** i am not a rich man

**jonathan sims:** how much do you think the archives pay?

**gdelano:** i edit youtube videos for a living jon anything amount u make is riches beyond my wildest dreams

**jonathan sims:** you say, typing from inside your flat where u live without roommates. in london.

**gdelano:** at least i dont live w my ex girlfriend like im waiting for a lease to run out

**jonathan sims:** HEY

**jonathan sims:** we are friends first and bitter exes second. its not as weird as you make it sound

**gdelano:** no its definitely a little weird

**jonathan sims:** okay then you try being 2 people of colour in an alternative music scene in like 2010. see if that doesnt make u inseparable and soul-bonded and permanently flatmates.

**jonathan sims:** speaking of exes though. how should we break up?

**gdelano:** arent we still waiting a while? five days i think

**jonathan sims:** yes but im worried it’ll look too abrupt

**gdelano:** so we’re staying together for longer then?

**jonathan sims:** no no dont worry! i just think we seem like too healthy of a couple. we’re  _ too _ happy and we need dysfunction to make the breakup seem realistic

**gdelano:** i dont think i could convincingly be mean to u

**jonathan sims:** gerry of 2 minutes ago would disagree. also i dont think we need to be mean? just like. distant i guess?

**jonathan sims:** you could tell martin i dont return your messages enough or something

**gdelano:** i feel like i’d be the one to do that

**jonathan sims:** have you  _ met _ me?

**gdelano:** have you met  _ me? _

**gdelano:** but yeah thats a good idea. i’ll try to foreshadow a breakup or whatever when im recording with martin today

**jonathan sims:** good luck!

**gdelano:** :)




_ FRI 9:50 _

_ gdelano & mkblackwood message history: _

**mkblackwood:** hey gerry! got the go-ahead from sasha, so i can head over to your place as soon as you send me the address!

**gdelano:** martin do u have a gluten allergy

**gdelano:** or are u normal

**mkblackwood:** what?

**gdelano:** i said

**mkblackwood:** no no i saw what you said

**mkblackwood:** why

**gdelano:** oh nvm the line at the shop was way shorter than it looked so i already got them btw do you like donuts or do i have to give all of these to jon

**gdelano:** [photo.png]

**mkblackwood:** oh, wow! thank you gerry! 

**gdelano:** np :)

**mkblackwood:** that looks like about a dozen though, so i’m assuming some are going to jon anyway since youre coming all the way to the institute

**gdelano:** ah. you got me

**gdelano:** also im here let me in

**mkblackwood:** omw!




_ FRI 10:01 AM _

_ tiiim & sarchivist message history: _

**tiiim:** since youre in your office all locked up, im just going to text you updates on whats happening because gerry just came in.

**tiiim:** aren’t you lucky to have me

**tiiim:** oh, he brought food. love this guy

**tiiim:** and hes spotted jon

**tiiim:** eyes locked on the target. hes moving in

**tiiim:** aaaaaand there it is! forehead kiss with perfect accuracy! truly a spectacular performance

**tiiim:** never seen jon this pleased or this flustered in my life, what a world




_ FRI 10:25 AM _

_ EXCERPT FROM THE TRANSCRIPT OF “gerry talking about whatever he wants EPISODE 30” _

_ GERRY: Right, so I don’t think I told you what we were actually going to talk about before I roped you into this, did I? _

_ MARTIN: You did not. _

_ MARTIN: I don’t have to know anything for this, do I? Because I was worried that- _

_ (GERRY chuckles. The sound of papers rustling) _

_ MARTIN: Yeah see? Look at all those notes. That’s intimidating. _

_ GERRY: (laughing) I guess if you  do end up knowing something I don’t, it’ll cause a new set of problems. Anyway, we’re not talking about anything big. _

_ MARTIN: Oh? _

_ GERRY: Nothing important, really. _

_ MARTIN: I’m not sure I believe you. _

_ GERRY: Probably haven’t even heard of her. _

_ (MARTIN taps his fingers on a desk. GERRY’S laughter is bright and genuine) _

_ GERRY: The murder of Gertrude Robinson. _

_ (MARTIN chokes) _

_ MARTIN(clearly smiling as he speaks): How far in are we? We’re - hold on -  five minutes , Gerry! And we’re already disrespecting the dead. _

_ GERRY: What’s she going to do about it? Die again? _

_ MARTIN: Haunt you, probably! _

_ GERRY: Gertrude Robinson died like a  loser and if she tries to haunt me then I wish her luck. _

_ (MARTIN’S laughter is muffled, as if he has turned away from the mic. Something makes a clattering sound) _




_ FRI 10:25 AM _

_ tiiim & jonathan sims message history: _

**tiiim:** hey

**tiiim:** you going to eat that?

**jonathan sims:** ?

**tiiim:** your donut :( 

**jonathan sims:** Oh, I guess I forgot. You can have it.

**tiiim:** spacing out? what’s wrong mate?

**jonathan sims:** Nothing is wrong, actually. I was just… thinking.

**tiiim:** about gerry?

**jonathan sims:** Yes.




_ FRI 10:37 AM _

_ EXCERPT FROM THE TRANSCRIPT OF “gerry talking about whatever he wants EPISODE 30” _

_ GERRY: And that’s just it, isn’t it? People are always hiding things that could’ve stood to see the light of day. Not for any malicious reason, but more personal ones.  _

_ MARTIN: And then their bodies are found by janitorial staff in tunnel systems. _

_ GERRY: Exactly. The most common way to go. Not that I would know. _

_ MARTIN (chuckling): No? _

_ GERRY: Martin, do I look like I’ve died  or gone to university before? _

_ (MARTIN hums, considering this) _

_ MARTIN: Might’ve had a death or two. _

_ GERRY: Possibly. But I think if i ever set foot on a campus, I’d start to disintegrate. I don’t think I belong in that sort of intellectual nightmare. _

_ MARTIN: Same here. _

_ GERRY: ...What? _

_ MARTIN: Uh- I mean… Um. _

_ GERRY: What happened to the parapsychology degree? _

_ MARTIN: Well, someone probably has one of those. Sorry. _

_ GERRY: Hey, no. Don’t be sorry. I really don’t care. _

_ MARTIN: Oh. _

_ GERRY: Pretty impressive, actually. Lied on your CV and everything? _

_ MARTIN: ...Yeah. It’s pretty easy, to be honest.  _

_ GERRY: You know it doesn’t matter, right? I don’t care that you don’t have a degree. _

_ MARTIN: No, yeah, I know  that. I just - the fact that I lied at all feels wrong. I mean, if I found out that I’d been lied to about something significant like that, I wouldn’t be able to look at that person the same, you know? _

_ GERRY: It’s not that simple. _

_ MARTIN: ...I guess not _

_ (a pause) _

_ GERRY: Gonna have to edit all this out, by the way. _

_ MARTIN: Oh my god, please do. _




_ FRI 10:37 AM _

_ tiiim & jonathan sims message history: _

**tiiim:** all good thoughts then 

**jonathan sims:** I suppose

**tiiim:** ?

**tiiim:** everything alright? talk to me if you want

**jonathan sims:** Ah, i dont want to bother you with it

**tiiim:** its not a bother if i fcking ask about it. besides, im good with this stuff

**jonathan sims:** okay

**jonathan sims:** i’ve just been feeling. uncertain.

**tiiim:** listen jon, take it from me. new relationships are awkward in the beginning. youve only been together a month, youre going to be uncertain at times and that’s to be expected

**jonathan sims:** youre right. theres just an undercurrent of worry every time im with him

**jonathan sims:** even when i have no reason to feel so apprehensive, i cant help but be on edge. there is a part of me that always just feels  _ watched _ when im with him, like something bad is going to happen if i dont do everything right. gerrys nice. hes perfect really. our relationship hardly changed when we moved from best friends to… well, a relationship. i have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. but regardless theres this persistent part of me that continuously tells me that if i make one wrong move or say one wrong thing, everyone will  _ find out.  _ im not sure  _ what _ theyll find out, or even who “everyone” is, but the fear is so overwhelming i feel like im not allowed to think about anything else. 

**tiiim:** internalized homophobia is a bitch

**jonathan sims:** yeah

**tiiim:** lucky you, i know the solution

**jonathan sims:** ?

**tiiim:** _ he’s _ the solution, if you want him to be. somewhere down the line, you were taught to be afraid and the only way to feel more comfortable in your relationship is to direct your energy into loving your partner. you get to create a reprieve from fear in the arms of the person you love.

**jonathan sims:** what if we’re not in love

**tiiim:** if you’re not, that’s alright. things will run their course. but you love him?

**jonathan sims:** so much

**tiiim:** then things will go the way they’re supposed to

**jonathan sims:** you’re right

**jonathan sims:** thank you tim

**tiiim:** anytime!

**tiiim:** now can you pleaseeee bring me your donut ive been longing for her doughy skin and sweet, saturated taste <3

**jonathan sims:** something is wrong with you




_ FRI 11:34 AM _

_ EXCERPT FROM THE TRANSCRIPT OF “gerry talking about whatever he wants EPISODE 30” _

_ GERRY: And we’re done. _

_ MARTIN: So we are. Thank you for having me, this was a great time! Learned a lot about the Institute. And murder. _

_ GERRY: As one does. _

_ MARTIN: As one does.  _

_ GERRY: And thank you for being here and getting  me through (the sound of pages flipping) 1500 words of shit I wrote on that woman. Batshit insane, I tell you. _

_ MARTIN: Careful, she’ll start flickering your lights. Possessing your dog.  _

_ GERRY: She can’t hurt me, I was raised by my mother. _

_ (MARTIN sucks in a breath) _

_ MARTIN: God, I know the feeling. But again, thank you! I’m a bit surprised you didn’t have Jon do this one with you. _

_ GERRY: Oh, he “doesn’t want to be on the internet” apparently. Which I know is a lie because he  loves arguing with strangers. _

_ MARTIN (laughing): That’s a pretty good Jon impression. _

_ GERRY: Thank you. Proximity breeds familiarity, and all. Anyway, it’s been an hour. Bye. _

_ EPISODE ENDS _




_ FRI 6:01 PM _

_ jonathan sims & gdelano message history: _

**jonathan sims:** successful day today. survived a conversation with tim and didn't even consider lobotomizing myself at any point

**gdelano:** so proud

**gdelano:** i think im friends with martin now :)

**jonathan sims:** :)!

**gdelano:** guess i’ll be having him over more often then, all bright eyed and ready to talk abt music

**jonathan sims:** ughhhh nvm

**gdelano:** endless entertainment

**gdelano:** soooo

**gdelano:** any luck convincing people that we r a sinking ship?

**jonathan sims:** actually yes! 

**gdelano:** oh good

**jonathan sims:** my conversation with tim all but confirmed that he thinks we’re going to break up eventually. he said things will run their course. couldn’t have been clearer 




_ FRI 6:01 PM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history: _

**tiiim:** still thinking about the convo i had with jon today

**tiiim:** i wont get into the details because man! incredibly personal!

**tiiim:** but i could tell how much jon cares about gerry, its amazing really. 

**tiiim:** if theres any couple that’ll get together and  _ stay _ together, it’s them. couldn’t have been clearer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe lying... is bad


	6. desperately pondered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **jonathan sims:** you were right
> 
>  **georgie!:** i usually am 
> 
> **georgie!** : btw what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do they have 7 eleven in the uk? idk im not br*tish

_SAT 4:00 AM_

_gdelano & jonathan sims message history: _

**gdelano:** jon

**gdelano:** jon

**gdelano:** jon this is so important

**gdelano:** jon

**gdelano:** jonnnnn

**gdelano:** jon 

**jonathan sims:** WHAT?

**gdelano:** just wanted to say

**gdelano:** hi :)

**jonathan sims:** …

**gdelano:** that was all

**jonathan sims:** i should tell melanie you're scared of snakes

**gdelano:** do NOT do that 

**jonathan sims:** you deserve it

**gdelano:** im so kind to you and for what

**jonathan sims:** youre annoying

**gdelano:** im not im beloved

**gdelano:** everyone likes me

**jonathan sims:** is this why you woke me up on a saturday? to gaslight me?

**gdelano:** GASLIGHT YOU…

**gdelano:** yes thats why <3

**gdelano:** anyway im bored do u wanna go to 7 eleven

**jonathan sims:** at 4 am?

**gdelano:** yeah

**jonathan sims:** obviously yes




_SAT 4:33 AM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**mkblackwood:** seeing people you know at a 7 eleven is WEIRD because it feels like the illusion of being in a 7 eleven is gone

**mkblackwood:** anyway jon and gerry are here

**sarchivist:** why are any of you anywhere at this hour? go pretend to sleep like normal people

**sarchivist:** tim is sleeping

**mkblackwood:** tim is honestly the only person i know who gets 8 hours on weekends

**sarchivist:** yeah thats true

**sarchivist:** well, stay safe and tell jon and gerry i said hi!

**mkblackwood:** oh i havent gone up to them yet 

**sarchivist:** no? how come?

**mkblackwood:** well

**mkblackwood:** i dont want to be mean but theyre really bad at shoplifting :(

**sarchivist:** LMAOOOO

**mkblackwood:** i just dont want to get caught in the crossfires of that because i really dont feel like paying for these crisps

**sarchivist:** wow martin. confessing to crimes, are we?

**mkblackwood:** oh no not me i would never

**mkblackwood:** im just saying that if i were one of them i wouldnt be holding hands with my boyfriend the whole time. its very sweet but it really lowers your mobility

**sarchivist:** its their date, let them be bad at crime

**mkblackwood:** i AM, im just saying!!

**sarchivist:** lol go get your crisps




_SAT 7:00 AM_

_georgie! & jonathan sims message history: _

**georgie!:** hey, where are you? gerry’s?

**jonathan sims:** yes, dont worry

**georgie!:** okay, just checking in! im heading to bed rn, goodnight!

**jonathan sims:** georgie its morning

**jonathan sims:** gerry says youre a freak

**georgie!:** im self-employed. i make my own hours

**jonathan sims:** you dont get to _reinvent time_

**georgie!:** jon do you really want to go down this road again

**georgie!:** time literally isnt real

**jonathan sims:** stop

**jonathan sims:** i dont want a migraine, go be nocturnal

**georgie!:** im diurnal, my definition of daytime is just different

**jonathan sims:** [photo.png]

 **jonathan sims:** he says youre a vampire

**georgie!:** i wish

**georgie!:** could you wake me around noon? ive got a date this afternoon

**jonathan sims:** sure! good “night”

**georgie!:** night!




_SAT 9:57 AM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**sarchivist:** jon and gerry spotted at the park

**sarchivist:** i think they're conversing with the ducks, looks very serious

**mkblackwood:** awww :)

**tiiim:** morning!

**mkblackwood:** morning tim!

**sarchivist:** gm! scroll up for martins shoplifting advice loll

**mkblackwood:** >:(

**tiiim:** wow

**tiiim:** you think theyve been on the same date for 5 consecutive hours? 

**sarchivist:** ohh thats so sweet :0

**mkblackwood:** god i want a relationship like that

**tiiim:** ^^^

**sarchivist:** GUYS this is so cute

**sarchivist:** i was about to take a video but then i realized how much of an invasion of privacy that would be, so i refrained

**mkblackwood:** yeah def dont do that

**sarchivist:** instead im just going to describe it in great detail while i eavesdrop

**mkblackwood:** is that better?

**sarchivist:** martin dont judge as if them being at 7 eleven was your business :P

**mkblackwood:** when a grown man takes like 8 years to shove a soft drink into his coat pocket it absolutely is my business 

**tiiim:** just admit you're both nosy and evil

**mkblackwood:** :(

**sarchivist:** :)

**sarchivist:** ANYWAY theyre sitting together on a park bench and gerrys got his head in jons lap :) jon is just sort of absently playing with his hair

**tiiim:** :)

**sarchivist:** theyre talking to each other now and they look so peaceful aww. hold on

**sarchivist:** ah

**mkblackwood:** what happened?

**sarchivist:** “but what would _motivate_ a duck to eat you? it hasn’t got the bloodlust of a goose” -jon

**sarchivist:** “i’m _saying_ it’d be a Pavlov sort of thing. you feed the same duck enough times, it associates you with food. after a while, it only needs to see you to think about eating. so, when you show up to the duck pond empty-handed, it doesn’t think and just goes in for the kill” -gerry

**tiiim:** right

**tiiim:** so theyre made for each other then




_SAT 11:49 AM_

_jonathan sims & gdelano message history: _

**jonathan sims:** georgie, wake up!

**jonathan sims:** also please open the door before gerry tries to pick the lock :(

**georgie!:** forgot your keys, did you?

**jonathan sims:** i was tired

**jonathan sims:** let me be 

**georgie!:** lmaooo

**georgie!:** coming coming

**georgie!:** btw since you both are here, youre reviewing my outfit

**jonathan sims:** sure :)




_SAT 3:30 PM_

_London’s Sweethearts (and gerry) message history:_

**georgie!:** hello everyone!

**gdelano:** shit georgie, texting us before nightfall?

**georgie!:** very funny -_-

**gdelano:** careful, wouldn’t want you turning to dust in the sunlight

**georgie!:** youre a child

**georgie!:** just wanted to inform everyone that my date went really well! 

**mx.mel:** yeah i heard the girl u met is hot as fuck

**georgie!:** oh definitely

**georgie!:** hot as fuck _and_ my girlfriend!!

**jonathan sims:** wow i thought i was your girlfriend 

**mx.mel:** BE HAPPY FOR US??

**jonathan sims:** I AM HAPPY FOR YOU

**georgie!:** oh jon you were always more of a side chick <3

**jonathan sims:** changed my mind. worst day of my life.

**mx.mel:** “i am happy for you” 

**mx.mel:** bullshit

**gdelano:** he _is_ happy for u, he just has to be weird with georgie or he’ll die

**mx.mel:** wouldn’t be so bad

**jonathan sims:** HEY

**mx.mel:** kidding! my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend-slash-girlfriend is also my friend

**mx.mel:** tentatively

**gdelano:** for real though i am happy for you both :)!

**gdelano:** youre good for each other 

**georgie!:** awww love you thank you!!

**mx.mel:** ily gerry!

**mx.mel:** anyway its crazy how easy it is to date the person you like

**georgie!:** thats true. just have to be blunt and ask them

**mx.mel:** no fanfare, no stress, just “hey i like you, lets grab lunch”

**georgie!:** absolutely. very important that everyone knows that

**gdelano:** uh ok?

**jonathan sims:** great thanks guys

**georgie!:** its very easy, just common sense

**jonathan sims:** im sure




_SAT 3:45 PM_

_gdelano & mx.mel message history: _

**gdelano:** hey melanie

**gdelano:** ive got a question

**mx.mel:** arent you with jon rn?

**gdelano:** yeah but weve been hanging out all day so we r at the point where we just sit around separately on our phones. im not busy

**mx.mel:** well i kind am about to be

**gdelano:** with what? its saturday

**mx.mel:** with georgie

**gdelano:** oh

**gdelano:** lmaoo sorry have fun

**mx.mel:** thank youuuu

**mx.mel:** i’ll text you later, okay?

**gdelano:** cool




_SAT 6:30 PM_

_mx.mel & gdelano message history: _

**mx.mel:** hey

**gdelano:** THREE HOURS?

**mx.mel:** well i also took a shower

**gdelano:** STILL

**gdelano:** you know what? congrats on the gay sex

**gdelano:** anyway i am in emotional turmoil

**mx.mel:** shit, whats wrong?

**gdelano:** its about the lying thing with jon

**mx.mel:** that makes sense? you having a hard time keeping up the lie?

**gdelano:** sort of. the acting part isnt really hard but a part of me just feels like shit whenever i remember that we r faking a relationship. 

**mx.mel:** i see

**mx.mel:** what do u think is causing that?

**gdelano:** honestly i think its guilt? im actually friends with jons coworkers now and theyre nice. and the basis for me knowing them is a lie. i know if they found out, theyd be pissed at me. i have you guys, but having friends still feels like a foreign concept tbh. they seem like something thats easy to lose and holy shit would i lose them quick when they realize what i did. again, _fuckin_ pissed at me

**mx.mel:** only at you?

**gdelano:** obviously

**mx.mel:** gerry im gonna be honest, im no good at comforting people. but i do love you, youre one of my best friends and theres nobody else i’d rather work with on the show. i think you should talk to jon abt this maybe?

**gdelano:** thanks

**gdelano:** you too

**gdelano:** and i might. but hes so freaked about it all the time already. idk we’ll see

**mx.mel:** okay, whatever ur comfortable with. me and georgie are always here for u both

**gdelano:** i know. thanks




_SAT 6:35 PM_

_mx.mel & georgie! message history: _

**mx.mel:** [screenshot.png]

**mx.mel:** [screenshot.png]

**mx.mel:** im worried about them

**georgie!:** god me too :(

**mx.mel:** this whole situation is so convoluted it fucking blows. i want to just _say_ like, hey idiots! you can go out for real! its so easy!

**georgie!:** dont i know it

**mx.mel:** so close to doing it

**georgie!:** baby, dont

**georgie!:** the one thing both of them hate is feeling like other people are controlling their choices. i feel like if we meddle, itll just cause them more grief

**mx.mel:** yeah

**mx.mel:** fuck

**georgie!:** to be honest, im not sure what we’re supposed to _do_ for them. they need us, but they also need to do these things on their own lest they think its not genuine

**mx.mel:** i guess we just

**mx.mel:** give em shoulders to cry on

**georgie!:** yeah

**georgie!:** hey mel?

**mx.mel:** yeah?

**georgie!:** i love you

**mx.mel:** woww georgie buy me dinner first

**georgie!:** i bought you lunch!!!

**mx.mel:** and i paid u back, doesnt count lol

**georgie!:** the worst, literally ur the worst

**georgie!:** theres still time to go out for dinner?

**mx.mel:** okay! theres a new thai place down the block

**georgie!:** i want hungarian food :(

**mx.mel:** ughhhhhh

**georgie!:** please?

**mx.mel:** ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fine

**georgie!:** hehe :)




_SUN 9:57 AM_

_jonathan sims & georgie! message history: _

**jonathan sims:** you were right

**georgie!:** i usually am 

**georgie!:** btw what?

**jonathan sims:** dont worry i know what i need to do

**georgie!:** oh? good on you jon! doing it today?

**jonathan sims:** no today i am sleeping bc i was up for 24 hrs and gerrys warm

**jonathan sims:** but tomorrow 

**georgie!:** good! proud of you :)

**jonathan sims:** thanks goodnight

**georgie!:** and here i should make a comment about how its morning, actually

**georgie!:** sleep well jon!




_SUN 9:59 AM_

_georgie! and mx.mel message history:_

**georgie!:** hey darling i told you we didn’t need to interfere

**mx.mel:** i like darling, thats a new one

**georgie!:** mwah mwah you ARE my darling

**mx.mel:** :O

**mx.mel:** i love you!!

**mx.mel:** also wdym? something good finally happening with those two?

**georgie!:** [screenshot.png]

**mx.mel:** oh shit

**mx.mel:** so he’s going to tell gerry how he feels?

**georgie!:** yes!!

**georgie!:** and we _know_ how gerry feels

**mx.mel:** this is great, seamless transition from fake dating to real dating

**mx.mel:** knowing jon, he’ll still fuck it up somehow

**georgie!:** hey!! have a little faith in him

**mx.mel:** okayyy

**mx.mel:** :)!!!

**georgie!:** :)!!!




_MON 8:30 AM_

_jonathan sims & georgie! message history: _

**jonathan sims:** not going into work today. this is stage 1 of my plan

**jonathan sims:** can you hold onto my phone so i dont say anything before i planned to?

**georgie!:** ok

**georgie!:** i was asleep

**jonathan sims:** sorry sorry! go back to sleep, i’ll leave it in your room!

**georgie!:** okay




_MON 9:30 AM_

_jonathan sims & gdelano message history: _

**gdelano:** hey jon, let me know when you do it

**gdelano:** uh. good luck i think?




_MON 9:30 AM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**sarchivist:** anyone heard from jon? he’s never late and he always tells me when he can’t make it to work…

**mkblackwood:** haven’t heard from him, no

**tiiim:** me neither boss

**mkblackwood:** maybe he’s sick?

**sarchivist:** maybe, but hes been sick before and he always called in

**sarchivist:** but i feel like i’ve been so nosy towards him lately, so maybe im overstepping?

**mkblackwood:** yeah, maybe we need to take a step back? i know i’ve been a bit nosy too

**tiiim:** well i haven’t, i’m calling him

**tiiim:** he seemed upset friday. and even if he’s just a work friend, he’s a friend

**tiiim:** i’ll let you all know what’s going on with him

**sarchivist:** thanks a million tim!




_TRANSCRIPT OF AUDIO CALL BETWEEN TIMOTHY STOKER AND JONATHAN SIMS (9:35 AM - 9:50 AM)_

_TIM: Hey, Jon. You there?_

_GEORGIE (blearily): Wrong number._

_TIM: Uh… Who is this? Where’s Jon?_

_GEORGIE: Huh? (softly) Fuck… Right number_

_TIM: What._

_GEORGIE: Sorry! This is Georgie, I had Jon’s phone on me and I just woke up!_

_TIM: Shit, Georgie Barker? Love your show, mate. This is Tim, I’m Jon’s coworker from the Institute._

_GEORGIE: Nice to meet you, Tim! You checking up on Jon, then?_

_TIM: Yeah, he’s skipping out on work today and nobody’s heard from him. I guess this is probably why. Is he alright?_

_GEORGIE: Oh yeah, he’s fine! Left his phone with me earlier this morning while I was sleeping in, so I’m not sure where he’s at. Sorry, Tim!_

_TIM: It’s no problem, not your fault he’s got his own thing to do today. Man, sleeping in sounds lovely on a Monday. You make your own hours?_

_GEORGIE (laughing): It’s pretty great. As long as I put out an episode each week, I work when I want and sleep when I want. Dream job, really._

_TIM: Ha! Can’t say I’m not jealous. Hey, also. If you don’t mind me asking, why was Jon at your-_

_(The sound of a door opening. Footsteps, someone enters the room)_

_JON: Hey, hey. So sorry to wake you, Georgie, but I think it’s a good time for me to-_

_(A pause. Brief shuffling)_

_TIM: Is that Jon?_

_GEORGIE: Shit. Hey, Tim? I’m gonna mute myself for a second._

_TIM: If it’s Jon, can you ask him why he-_

_GEORGIE: Sorry!_

_(A loud, prolonged shuffling noise, followed by the sharp sound of a finger tapping the phone screen. Georgie, to her knowledge, thinks she has pressed the mute button. Tim, who is still listening, can observe that she has not)_

_GEORGIE: Your friend, Tim, was calling. Woke me right up._

_JON (apologetic): Ah, I didn’t think they’d call so quickly. I’m sorry, Georgie._

_GEORGIE: Fine, it’s fine. What are you up to, though? What should I tell him?_

_JON: Hm… Tell him I’m not coming in today, and that it’s a personal matter._

_GEORGIE: What kind of personal matter?_

_JON: Well, I was about to-_

_(He cuts off, likely making gestures that Tim cannot see)_

_GEORGIE: All right, I’ll tell him and I’m sleeping. Again._

_JON: Of course. (softly, now. listening closely, the smile can be heard in his voice) Thank you. Sorry I woke you._

_(The shuffling of fabric. The soft, smacking sound of a kiss on the forehead. From Tim’s end, a muffled gasp of shock. An absentminded tap as Georgie “unmutes” the call)_

_GEORGIE: Sorry about that! Flatmate walked in. Anyway, Jon just texted and he said he’s got some personal issue going on? Didn’t really give details, but if he hasn’t clocked in yet then I doubt he will later today. Sorry again, Tim!_

_TIM: Um, yeah. It’s no trouble. Bye, Georgie!_

_GEORGIE: Bye!_




_MON 9:50 AM_

_tiiim & sarchivist message history: _

**tiiim:** so uh

**tiiim:** jon’s fine, apparently he had a “personal issue” and he’s not coming in today. also, apparently he’s real affectionate with georgie barker

**sarchivist:** well, i’m glad he’s alright. and that makes sense i guess? melanie told me they were close.

**tiiim:** okay but this was like. weird. even with gerry he’s pretty restrained, gerry’s the one who seems to always initiate the PDA. but i heard jon kiss georgie, either on the cheek or the forehead or somewhere on the face?

**tiiim:** and like. kissing your friends isnt weird. its affectionate, i’ve done it! its just the fact that _jon_ is doing it. like, before last week i thought he was this standoffish, reserved guy but apparently not?

**sarchivist:** what are you saying, tim?

**tiiim:** i don’t think he’d cheat on gerry. he’s a good guy who clearly loves his boyfriend. but you can love two people at once, can’t you? 

**tiiim:** i dont know. just struck me as out of character for him

**sarchivist:** i guess i can see that? but you know what i think?

**sarchivist:** i dont think we know him well enough to determine whats in or out of character for him, you know? hes been friends with georgie for years, and we only just started to find out anything about his personal life. i think youre overthinking it

**tiiim:**...yeah

**tiiim:** thanks boss

**sarchivist:** anytime!

**sarchivist:** oh? message from jon?




_9:55 AM_

_New Group: sarchivist, mkblackwood, tiiim, & jonathan sims message history: _

**jonathan sims:** Hello all. Just wanted to let you know that I’m not coming into work today. Gerry and I finally broke it off

**mkblackwood:** what? thats terrible, im sorry jon :(

**sarchivist:**???

**sarchivist:** god jon, im sorry. feel free to take the day off

**tiiim:** what?

**jonathan sims:** um yes. we are no longer a couple.

**tiiim:** you guys seemed so happy together, though?

**mkblackwood:** ^^ did something happen over the weekend?

**jonathan sims:** what

**mkblackwood:** i know you guys were really good for each other, you think its a temporary breakup?

**jonathan sims:** um

**jonathan sims:** its permanent. sorry to disappoint.

**jonathan sims:** bye

_jonathan sims left the group!_




_MON 9:57 AM_

_tiiim & sarchivist message history: _

**tiiim:** UM

**sarchivist:**...YEAH

**tiiim:** did you see this coming? what the hell this is the last thing i expected

**sarchivist:** god i know.

**sarchivist:** hm

**tiiim:** hey. do u think that maybe. its got something to do with georgie.

**sarchivist:** i mean. i really _really_ dont like the implications of that but? maybe?

**sarchivist:** he’s never initiated a kiss with gerry but you heard him kiss her?

**tiiim:** yeah, she tried to mute the call and accidentally didnt. thats when i heard it

**tiiim:** his voice was all soft too

**sarchivist:** hm

**tiiim:** i know

**sarchivist:** shit




_MON 10:00 AM_

_mkblackwood & sarchivist message history: _

**mkblackwood:** hey sasha, you good?

**sarchivist:** yeah martin, im alright. just a bit shocked at jon’s… news. why?

**mkblackwood:** idk maybe it was a trick of the light

**sarchivist:**?

**mkblackwood:** this is going to sound weird but

**mkblackwood:** for a second there, it looked like your eyes were glowing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh


	7. reason will not lead to solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **mkblackwood:** you know at this point i would’ve preferred it if jon was homophobic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anything bad could happen and jon will just go "ok bye"

_ MON 10:20 AM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history: _

**sarchivist:** do you guys think its weird that we haven't gotten any live statements recently?

**sarchivist:** also elias hasn't been emailing me random clips of video feed from the breakroom to increase my productivity like he usually does, which is also weird…

**mkblackwood:** what???

**sarchivist:** oh uh

**sarchivist:** yeah that's why those plastic fruit are in there. he's got the whole hidden camera thing going on

**tiiim:** jesus fucking christ

**tiiim:** also idk, i havent spoken to the guy since he stopped coming down here and having staring matches with me and martin. that was last week i think?

**mkblackwood:** yeah

**mkblackwood:** honestly? im not going to look a gift horse in the mouth

**sarchivist:** yeah hopefully whatever hes preoccupied himself with watching is more entertaining than our shit




_ MON 10:30 AM _

_ sarchivist & gdelano message history: _

**sarchivist:** hey gerry!

**sarchivist:** how are you doing?

**gdelano:** hey sasha

**sarchivist:** jon told me the news a bit ago, i just wanted to make sure you’re okay

**gdelano:** oh

  
  


**sarchivist:** its none of my business, i know that. but i just wanted to make sure you know that me, martin, and tim are your friends just as much as we are jon’s friends. we’re here for you

**gdelano:** ah

**gdelano:** thank you sasha. i really appreciate that

**sarchivist:** ofc! 

**gdelano:** it wasnt a messy split, i agreed with jon when he said he wanted to break it off. i dont feel great, but im okay

**sarchivist:** you know, the one thing that rlly helps me through breakups with someone is talking to everyone who  _ isn’t  _ them. and ive got nothing better to do right now soooo

**gdelano:** arent u at work?

**sarchivist:** okay yes but

**gdelano:** lmao

**sarchivist:** i think my boss has pretty much given up on supervising the archives so i can get away with not doing anything

**gdelano:** yr in luck then, im also putting off work

**sarchivist:** :O!

**sarchivist:** what are the odds!

**gdelano:** yeah compiling stories abt ghosts murdering people in cars gets old pretty quick apparently

**sarchivist:** shit, how am i just now realizing that our jobs are basically the same

**sarchivist:** supernatural stories, putting together information, recording things, follow-up investigations that break trespassing laws

**sarchivist:** only real difference is that you get all the adoring fans :(

**gdelano:** god dont start

**gdelano:** its very sweet but its so fucking weird

**sarchivist:** oh nooo people respect and admire you what a nightmare

**gdelano:** there is porn of me on the internet sasha

**sarchivist:** small price to pay in my opinion




_ MON 11:00 AM _

_ gdelano & jonathan sims message history: _

**gdelano:** the story we r going with is that you broke up with me and i was fine with it right?

**jonathan sims:** yes! is someone asking?

**gdelano:** yeah sasha is

**gdelano:** told her that and she believed it so its all good

**jonathan sims:** good!

**jonathan sims:** now she’ll likely tell martin and tim, and then its all over and done with

**gdelano:** yeah

**gdelano:** thats good

**jonathan sims:** gerry i really cant thank you enough. this was a really weird and difficult thing to ask of you, but i really appreciate that you did it for me. thank you thank you thank you

**jonathan sims:** i think i would have lost my mind if not for you

**gdelano:** always lmaoo its cool

**jonathan sims:** i MEAN it!! i couldn't even keep up this lie for a week, and i wouldn’t have been able to at all if not for you. nobody else would’ve done this

**gdelano:** :)

**gdelano:** goddamn jon is the breakup hitting you that hard

**jonathan sims:** im being NICE to you!

**gdelano:** too nice

**jonathan sims:** never. no such thing




_ MON 4:45 PM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history: _

**sarchivist:** i think gerry is going to be okay, just spent the past few hours talking with him and it was a good time

**mkblackwood:** that's good! 

**mkblackwood:** i've been trying to get a hold of jon, but hes not answering my texts :(

**tiiim:** man :(

**tiiim:** they were so good together, and gerrys cool as hell

**sarchivist:** yeah, i doubt gerry was being honest when he said he was okay

**sarchivist:** he said it was jon who broke it off so he must be devastated

**tiiim:** _ fucking _ jon

**mkblackwood:** what??

**mkblackwood:** we don't know his reasons so i don’t think we should be so harsh?




_ MON 4:48 PM _

_ sarchivist & tiiim message history: _

**sarchivist:** should we tell martin about georgie?

**tiiim:** i dont know

**tiiim:** only told you in the first place bc i dont know if he's got the best judgement w this sort of thing, no offense to him

**tiiim:** i don't want to lie to him but this is the guy who thought gerry might be pretending to date jon as a  _ favor _

**sarchivist:** oh i remember that

**tiiim:** ridiculous

**sarchivist:** a little bit, yeah

**sarchivist:** i think we should give him a chance to talk to jon at the very least

**tiiim:** yeah

**tiiim:** and hey, maybe im wrong




_ MON 7:59 PM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history: _

**mkblackwood:** jon’s finally answering his texts




_ MON 7:59 PM _

_ jonathan sims & mkblackwood message history: _

**jonathan sims:** Hello martin i will be back at work tomorrow dont worry

**jonathan sims:** There are no problems

**mkblackwood:** okay, are you sure?

**mkblackwood:** breakups are hard, and you clearly liked each other a lot

**jonathan sims:** no its fine its easy

**mkblackwood:** you don’t need to pretend you’re not having a rough time of it

**jonathan sims:** I’m not. Genuinely i am not and i have been waiting to do this for a while and its not a sad thing because we weren’t together for a very long time but it was long enough to be an actual relationship anyway i am so glad we separated now the stress is gone and you and tim and sasha dont need to think about it or ask me questions or anything ever again goodbye martin

**mkblackwood:** this isn’t easing any concerns :(

**jonathan sims:** why not

**jonathan sims:** a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and i am so happy

**mkblackwood:** if you say so

**jonathan sims:** i do

**mkblackwood:** good

**jonathan sims:** good!




_ MON 8:03 PM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history: _

**sarchivist:** what's he saying?

**mkblackwood:** i think he’s just freaking out

**mkblackwood:** i’ll be surprised if he actually does come in tomorrow




_ TUES 8:59 AM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history: _

**sarchivist:** jon’s here

**tiiim:** how do you even know that, you're nowhere near the door

**tiiim:** oh shit he is here

**tiiim:** this bitch

**mkblackwood:** so much hostility…

**mkblackwood:** are we still pretending to do work or have we given up the pretense entirely so we can talk to him?

**sarchivist:** i don't think he’s going to answer any questions tbh

**sarchivist:** lets see what he does? and then try to corner him during lunch

**mkblackwood:** sure




_ TUES 11:28 AM _

_ sarchivist & jonathan sims message history: _

**sarchivist:** hey jon, you not joining us for lunch?

**jonathan sims:** Ah, no. My apologies. I actually have a prior engagement currently, so I’ll have to skip out on eating with you all.

**sarchivist:** a prior engagement with whom?

**jonathan sims:** If you must know, I’ve made plans with my friend Georgie to meet for lunch. I will return before my break is over, don’t worry.

**sarchivist:** georgie as in georgie barker?

**jonathan sims:** Yes

**jonathan sims:** Also bye

**sarchivist:** hm




_ MON 11:30 AM _

_ jonathan sims & georgie! message history: _

**jonathan sims:** you almost here?

**georgie!:** _ yes _ im omw. i can’t be expected to get there at exactly 11:30 jon

**jonathan sims:** you can’t be expected to show up to a place at the time you said you’d be at that place?

**georgie!:** hush

**georgie!:** how’d you get there so fast anyway?

**jonathan sims:** i ran here :(

**georgie!:** work was that bad?

**jonathan sims:** yes ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh




_ TUES 11:30 AM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history: _

**sarchivist:** i cant TAKE it anymore

**sarchivist:** hey martin we (and by this i mean tim and me) are like 99% sure that jon broke up with gerry to leave him for georgie barker from what the ghost because tim heard them snogging or something when he called jon and now jon is on a DATE with her

**tiiim:** IS THAT WHERE HE WENT?

**mkblackwood:** WHAT?

**sarchivist:** HE WAITED ONE DAY. ONE DAY.

**tiiim:** FUCK THIS GUY FOR REAL!!!!

**mkblackwood:** WHY DIDNT I KNOW THIS????

**mkblackwood:** SHIT WHEN I WAS TALKING TO HIM HE KEPT INSISTING HE WAS RELIEVED ABOUT THE BREAKUP. I THOUGHT HE WAS LYING

**tiiim:** _ FUCKING  _ JON

**sarchivist:** gerry must be fucking DEVASTATED

**sarchivist:** his bf left him for his friend and doesn’t even care…

**mkblackwood:** god

**mkblackwood:** you think gerry even knows? we don’t know what jon told him

**tiiim:** for all the shit he’s pulled, jon should’ve at LEAST had the DECENCY to be honest

**mkblackwood:** you know at this point i would’ve preferred it if jon was homophobic 

**sarchivist:** honestly

**tiiim:** ^^^

**tiiim:** i feel betrayed and it's not even ABOUT ME

**sarchivist:** if i find out i’ve been lied to one more time im literally going to kill jon, revive his shitty old man body, and kill him again 

**mkblackwood:** well

**mkblackwood:** thats a bit much no?

**tiiim:** no

**mkblackwood:** right then!




_ TUES 11:35 AM _

_ jonathan sims & georgie barker message history: _

**jonathan sims:** hey hey sorry can we text instead of talk aloud rn?

**jonathan sims:** sorry i just

**jonathan sims:** don’t want to. 

**georgie!:** sure

**georgie!:** this is a really stupid thing youve done, you know?

**jonathan sims:** you’re going to have to be more specific…

**georgie!:** just

**georgie!:** ALL of it

**jonathan sims:** i guess so

**georgie!:** can i just ask questions? because i really don’t understand  _ why _ you did any of this

**jonathan sims:** ask away

**georgie!:** why did you do the breakup early?

**jonathan sims:** i got scared

**georgie!:** of what?

**jonathan sims:** i don’t know. i just felt like something bad was going to happen

**georgie!:** alright

**georgie!:** well, why did you lie in the first place? its funny and all but seriously  _ why? _

**jonathan sims:** i had to prove i wasn’t homophobic? you know this

**georgie!:** bullshit

**georgie!:** you could’ve just made up a random guy

**georgie!:** you could’ve  _ apologized _

**georgie!:** you could’ve just said gerry was your ex boyfriend!! and none of this lying would’ve had to happen

**jonathan sims:** i guess

**georgie!:** remember around the first week we got together? and my roommate thought you hated her because you wouldn’t talk to her when i wasn’t around?

**jonathan sims:** …

**georgie!:** remember how that lasted for like, three days before you noticed she looked upset and asked her what happened? and you were so blunt about it, and later she told me that it would’ve been rude from anyone else, but she was shocked that you even noticed and shocked that you tried to fix it even when you didn’t know what to do?

**georgie!:** remember when we met gerry and  _ you _ were the one who would seek him out because he never seemed to talk to anyone else? and he wasn’t talking because his voice was cracking he’d only just gone on T, but he talked to  _ you _

**jonathan sims:** both those things were different. this is different

**georgie!:** sure, but YOU’RE not

**georgie!:** i know you make stupid decisions when you panic, and i know you’re allergic to giving sincere apologies to anyone who isn’t me, gerry, or mel, but you’re one of the most sincere people i’ve ever known and you don’t  _ like _ outright lying. there’s no way you did this just because you thought it was the only possible thing to do

**jonathan sims:** its stupid, though

**georgie!:** this whole thing is stupid and i have no idea why you’ve done any of it

**jonathan sims:** i mean

**jonathan sims:** i did it because i wanted to. obviously i was panicking and made that stupid decision to text gerry and ask him about this in a haze of misjudgement but even still a part of me just liked the idea. i think if i hadn’t, i never would have asked him. just told him what happened so he could have a laugh. maybe i thought that giving myself this, even under a false pretence, would do  _ something _ to remedy the fact that i’ve been in love with him for so long. but it didn’t. the whole time we were lying, i was just constantly afraid that everyone at the archives would find out  _ and _ that gerry would find out and i dont know what i would have done if either had happened. gerrys my best friend, i always want him around. i didnt think this would be any different and in a lot of ways it wasn't, but the new wave of guilt and stress just ruined everything. and i did the breakup early because i didn’t know what else to do

**jonathan sims:** and now we’re here. the end

**georgie!:** that’s a lot

**jonathan sims:** yeah

**georgie!:** HEY WAIT

**georgie!:** YOU’VE BEEN IN  _ WHAT _ WITH GERRY 

**jonathan sims:** I THOUGHT YOU KNEW?

**jonathan sims:** WASN’T THAT WHY YOU TEASED ME WHEN YOU AND MELANIE GOT TOGETHER?

**georgie!:** OBVIOUSLY I KNEW 

**georgie!:** BUT I DIDN’T KNOW  _ YOU  _ KNEW

**jonathan sims:** I ALWAYS KNEW! I THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE YOU SEEMED LIKE YOU KNEW, THAT YOU ALSO KNEW THAT I KNOW!

**georgie!:** HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT YOU KNEW THIS WHOLE TIME AND THAT YOU KNEW THAT I KNOW

**jonathan sims:** I DON’T KNOW

**georgie!:** GOD…

**georgie!:** this is why i broke up with you

**jonathan sims:** really? this situation specifically

**georgie!:** shut up

**jonathan sims:** ha

**georgie!:** how long

**georgie!:** have you known that you were in love with gerry

**jonathan sims:** i don’t know. it never felt like a new thing, or a shock. i’ve just been aware of it

**georgie!:** christ. so you know gerry’s in love with you too then?

**jonathan sims:** WHAT?

**georgie!:** ah

**georgie!:** jon i had sympathy for you earlier, back when i thought you were still trying to figure out how you felt. but this is insane

**georgie!:** you’ve loved gerry so long it feels natural, and the strength of your relationship hasn’t ever changed. how could that be, if he didn’t love you just as much?

**georgie!:** at the very least you could’ve asked him out for coffee or SOMETHING. even if you didn’t know how he felt

**jonathan sims:** i could’ve. i felt like i shouldn’t

**georgie!:** literally why

**jonathan sims:** because i was already happy with this! i don’t need other things. i have him, he’s happy, i’m happy, what would be the point of trying to have even  _ more _ ?

**georgie!:** jon

**georgie!:** what the fuck is  _ with _ you?

**georgie!:** i was already happy the first time i kissed you. i didn’t  _ need _ it, but i did because i wanted to

**georgie!:** do you  _ want _ to be with him

**jonathan sims:** i mean, i would like it

**georgie!:** then grow the fuck up. you’re an adult, and you’re responsible for your own life. 

**georgie!:** if you want something, you can just ask for it

**jonathan sims:** shit

**jonathan sims:** i guess you’re right

**georgie!:** so you’ve said

**georgie!:** after all this youre paying for my food

**jonathan sims:** sure sure




_ TUES 11:45 AM _

_ mx.mel & gdelano message history: _

**mx.mel:** hey gerry, you get a chance to look over any of the stuff i sent you?

**mx.mel:** rhetorical question lmao, i know you’ve probably read it twice over by now

**gdelano:** not yet

**mx.mel:** its cool! get thru it before tomorrow, though!

**gdelano:** sure

**gdelano:** also scratch the first investigation plan because it is one big fire hazard

**mx.mel:** you love fire hazards, what’s wrong? :(

**gdelano:** tired i guess

**mx.mel:** i can imagine :(

**mx.mel:** you talked to jon at all?

**gdelano:** of course

**mx.mel:** hows he handling the fake breakup?

**gdelano:** hes perfectly happy it seems

**mx.mel:** and you?

**gdelano:** :(

**gdelano:** i feel like shit and i dont know why

**mx.mel:** do you feel like something bad happened?

**gdelano:** i feel like i lost something idk. nothing CHANGED technically except im not lying to jon’s coworkers constantly anymore but i feel. bad. not fun for me

**mx.mel:** i’m sorry gerry, i hope you figure everything out

**gdelano:** me too

**gdelano:** thank you melanie

**mx.mel:** of course! love you

**gdelano:** you too

**gdelano:** i’ll prob just bother jon. that should help




_ TUES 11:55 AM _

_ georgie! & mx.mel message history: _

**georgie!:** [screenshot.png]

**georgie!:** [screenshot.png]

**georgie!:** [screenshot.png]

**georgie!:** are you seeing this shit, beloved

**mx.mel:** NO FUCKING WAYYYYYY

**mx.mel:** AAAAAAAAAAAAA




_ TUES 12:00 AM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history: _

**tiiim:** is jon back

**sarchivist:** no

**sarchivist:** i think he just left and we let him




_ TUES 12:01 PM _

_ gdelano & jonathan sims message history: _

**gdelano:** jonnnn 

**gdelano:** melanie sent me some outlines and plans for future episodes of ghuk do u want to read thru them w me 

**gdelano:** oh wait youre at work oops

**jonathan sims:** im not anymore 

**gdelano:** thats a yes then?

**jonathan sims:** i want to, but im very busy right now :(

**jonathan sims:** sorry

**gdelano:** its cool

**gdelano:** another day i guess




_ TUES 12:01 PM _

_ jonathan sims & georgie! message history: _

**jonathan sims:** gerry just texted me and asked me go over to his place 

**jonathan sims:** and i was thinking very hard about everything you told me fifteen minutes ago

**georgie!:** so youre on your way to his flat?

**jonathan sims:** no i said i couldnt go

**georgie!:** WHY??????

**jonathan sims:** I NEED TIME TO PLAN IF IM GOING TO OFFICIALLY ASK HIM OUT!!!

**jonathan sims:** I FOUND OUT HOW HE FEELS JUST NOW, I NEED TIME TO PROCESS AND THINK ABOUT WHAT TO SAY

**georgie!:** FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE YOURE STEPPING BACK TO PREVENT IMPULSIVE DECISIONS AND IT JUST HAPPENS TO BE THE TIME WHERE YOU  _ SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT _

**georgie!:** GERRY FUCKING LOVES YOU, DO YOU THINK THIS DOESN’T SEEM LIKE A REJECTION TO HIM?

**jonathan sims:** FUCK

**jonathan sims:** WELL I ALREADY SAID NO SO LIKE

**jonathan sims:** I’LL WAIT AN HOUR AND THEN GO TO HIS PLACE

**georgie!:** OKAY

**georgie!:** GOOD LUCK I LOVE YOU DON’T BE STUPID

**jonathan sims:** THANK YOU LOVE YOU TOO AND I ALWAYS AM




_ TUES 12:15 PM _

_ NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history: _

**tiiim:** fuck, i can’t stop thinking about how unfair this is to gerry

**tiiim:** you know what? fuck it, ending my friendship with jon to be full-time friends with gerry




_ TUES 12:17 PM _

_ tiiim & gdelano message history: _

**tiiim:** hey, is this gerry delano? it’s tim!

**gdelano:** yeah its me. hey tim

**tiiim:** hey!

**tiiim:** how’re you holding up, mate?

**gdelano:** im alright

**gdelano:** seems like you and sasha have been taking turns asking after me

**tiiim:** well yeah, we’re your  _ friends _

**tiiim:** and you know what friends are for?

**gdelano:** i suspect ur about to tell me

**tiiim:** DRINKS!

**tiiim:** if you’re not busy tonight, come out for drinks with me? no strings attached, it’ll just be fun and i insist on paying

**gdelano:** listen tim, i appreciate that and im flattered but like. im not rlly interested atm, sorry

**tiiim:** NO, don't worry it’s not like that. i wouldn’t try to come on to you the second after you ended a serious relationship, im not a piece of shit

**tiiim:** i just want to get sloshed out of my mind w you so you don't have to think about anything else that's been happening. i’m your friend and i care about you, you know?

**gdelano:** well if you  _ insist _ on paying, then i guess i have to accept dont i?

**gdelano:** didn’t have any plans tonight anyway. lets drink on a tuesday like divorcees

**tiiim:** hell yeahhhhh

**gdelano:** :)

**gdelano:** thanks tim

**tiiim:** anytime!




_ TUES 1:15 PM _

_ jonathan sims & gdelano message history: _

**jonathan sims:** so. change of plans

**gdelano:** same here lol

**jonathan sims:** ?

**gdelano:** going out for drinks w tim tonight, very exciting

**jonathan sims:** oh

**jonathan sims:** have fun be safe don’t tell him the truth

**gdelano:** yeah yeah i got it

**gdelano:** what was your change of plans?

**jonathan sims:** uhhhhhh

**jonathan sims:** ive decided to spend today daydrinking

**gdelano:** ooh fun

**gdelano:** i’d invite myself over but like

**jonathan sims:** yeah

**jonathan sims:** tim is nice

**gdelano:** yeah? i know

**jonathan sims:** good

**gdelano: ...** good?

**jonathan sims:** yes ok have fun bye




_ TUES 1:19 PM _

_ jonathan sims & georgie! message history: _

**jonathan sims:** i should just DIE

**georgie!:** what?? no! whats wrong?

**jonathan sims:** i was too late and now gerry has a date with FUCKING TIM

**jonathan sims:** UGHHHHHHHHHH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we've come full circle now


	8. cry, pray, beg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we are nearing the end...
> 
> also tw for coercion/forcing someone to speak from "untitled audio recording 1" to "something in the archivist's voice"

_WED 7:00 AM_

_gdelano & tiiim message history _

**gdelano:** hey tim wake up you have work

**tiiim:** ughhhhh

**tiiim:** i hate you

**gdelano:** hahahahahaha

**tiiim:** why did i DO this again my head hurts so bad

**gdelano:** because im devastated and heartbroken?

**gdelano:** actually what was it you said?

**gdelano:** im “mourning the loss of my shithead skinny boyfriend”

**tiiim:** are you just not hungover? whats wrong with you?

**gdelano:** never felt better

**tiiim:** FUCK you

**tiiim:** i don’t remember saying that… liar

**gdelano:** lol do you remember anything?

**tiiim:** i

**tiiim:** no

**tiiim:** man…

**gdelano:** yeah i’d be surprised if you did bc you were fucked up

**tiiim:** how much did i drink?

**gdelano:** lots

**tiiim:** did i ask you any questions?

**gdelano:** tons of em. all about jon

**tiiim:** FUCK :(

**tiiim:** this was you plan all along then? having me forget all your secrets? evil

**gdelano:** ah you got me. darn.

**tiiim:** _forcing_ me to drink myself into forgetting… how could you gerry?

**gdelano:** i didnt FORCE you

**tiiim:** didnt stop me either

**gdelano:** :)




_WED 9:00 AM_

_sarchivist & jonathan sims message history _

**sarchivist:** good morning jon

**jonathan sims:** Good morning! You always seem to know the exact second I walk into the archives.

**sarchivist:** didn’t see you after lunch yesterday

**jonathan sims:** Sorry

**sarchivist:** it’s fine. how was lunch?

**sarchivist:** how’s georgie?

**jonathan sims:** Good and good

**sarchivist:** i see

**jonathan sims:** Sorry. I’ll make up for my absence

**sarchivist:** you can try

**jonathan sims:** What?

**sarchivist:** well that’s no way to speak to your boss

**jonathan sims:** Sorry, I just don’t know what you mean by that?

**sarchivist:** don’t be so nosy, jon




_WED 9:02 AM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**sarchivist:** oh my god fuck this guy

**sarchivist:** [screenshot.png]

**sarchivist:** i’m being as passive aggressive as i possibly can and he LITERALLY doesn’t care

**mkblackwood:** he seems genuinely confused

**tiiim:** does he think we don’t know?

**mkblackwood:** probably

**sarchivist:** ughhhh




_WED 10:15 AM_

_jonathan sims & mx.mel message history: _

**jonathan sims:** no one is talking to me :(

**mx.mel:** smart

**jonathan sims:** thanks melanie you always know what to say

**mx.mel:** <3

**mx.mel:** is something up, though? usually you text georgie or gerry with this not me

**jonathan sims:** i’ve put georgie through enough grief recently

**mx.mel:** actually yeah you're right. leave my gf alone lmfao

**mx.mel:** gerry though? he always wants to talk to u

**jonathan sims:** apparently not

**mx.mel:** what?

**mx.mel:** oh right

**jonathan sims:** a DATE with TIM

**mx.mel:** i doubt it was a date

**mx.mel:** like honestly would gerry go out with a guy he just met? not like him at all

**jonathan sims:** BUT THEY DID GO OUT. HE TOLD ME.

**mx.mel:** as friends probably

**jonathan sims:** there’s no way. you think someone would just ask gerry out for drinks _alone_ and not mean for it to be romantic in nature?

**mx.mel:** i think you’re biased

**jonathan sims:** i’m a researcher. i’m right

**mx.mel:** uh huh

**jonathan sims:** you are no help

**mx.mel:** right

**jonathan sims:** ok bye

**mx.mel:** bye jon




_WED 11:02 AM_

_tiiim & mkblackwood message history: _

**tiiim:** martin please tell me you’re not actually doing work rn?

**mkblackwood:** no! god no!

**tiiim:** good

**tiiim:** what _are_ you doing then?

**mkblackwood:** found georgie’s personal instagram last night and she let me follow

**tiiim:** OH?

**tiiim:** and here i thought sasha was our champion of cyberstalking

**mkblackwood:** i also know how to use social media tim

**mkblackwood:** anyway im scrolling all the way to the bottom to get a proper timeline

**mkblackwood:** she posts a _lot_

**tiiim:** any hot pics of jon?

**mkblackwood:** god i hope not

**mkblackwood:** okay! ive reached the first post

**mkblackwood:** oh its her cat :)

**mkblackwood:** [screenshot.png]

**tiiim:** that thing is round as hell

**mkblackwood:** are you bodyshaming a cat? he can’t defend himself :/

**tiiim:** i’m NOT?

**mkblackwood:** [screenshot.png]

**mkblackwood:** the early half of this account is almost entirely pictures of the cat

**tiiim:** i respect it

**tiiim:** what are you looking for anyway? i doubt any dirt on georgie is going to be dug up from the social media she allowed you to follow

**mkblackwood:** honestly? it’s like hatereading

**mkblackwood:** its backfiring because she seems like a genuinely fun person. complicit in cheating but fun.

**tiiim:** damn

**tiiim:** does she post about politics? maybe she’s a tory

**mkblackwood:** no :(

**mkblackwood:** [screenshot.png]

**mkblackwood:** she also went to pride

**tiiim:** god DAMN it

**mkblackwood:** [screenshot.png] 

**mkblackwood:** look at this, she’s a cool goth with a cute cat. this sucks

**tiiim:** at least we know jon has a type

**mkblackwood:** oh? jon makes a cameo

**mkblackwood:** [screenshot.png]

**mkblackwood:** so i guess they’ve been flatmates this whole time too

**tiiim:** jon left gerry for his FLATMATE…

**tiiim:** i would kill myself, no joke

**mkblackwood:** his flatmate AND close friend!!!

**mkblackwood:** [screenshot.png]

**mkblackwood:** look at this! they all used to hang out before jon dated them :(

**tiiim:** GERRY :(

**tiiim:** hrhgjgjhgjrk

**mkblackwood:** tim?

**tiiim:** sorry, i looked up and saw jon at his desk. was filled with violence for a second

**mkblackwood:** that’s understandable

**mkblackwood:** [screenshot.png]

**mkblackwood:** more cat pictures, i guess she found out about pet costumes

**tiiim:** you know i read somewhere that cats HATE wearing little wizard robes and pointy hats

**mkblackwood:** did you?

**tiiim:** i bet that fucking cat wants her dead

**mkblackwood:** jesus christ 

**mkblackwood:** wait a minute

**tiiim:** i could find the article if you don’t believe me. it probably even exists

**mkblackwood:** no no not that

**mkblackwood:** [screenshot.png]

**mkblackwood:** read the caption…

**tiiim:** GOTH JON? EYELINER JON?

**tiiim:** oh wait let me read the caption

**tiiim:** “my least favorite ex boyfriend” WHAT?

**mkblackwood:** I KNOW

**tiiim:** so they dated in the past… broke up… and got back together?

**mkblackwood:** that has to be it i guess! nobody is that close with their ex

**tiiim:** NOBODY is long-term flatmates with their ex girlfriend

**tiiim:** does this mean gerry was a rebound?

**mkblackwood:** :(

**mkblackwood:** WAIT

**mkblackwood:** HER MOST RECENT POST

**mkblackwood:** [screenshot.png]

**tiiim:** IS THAT MELANIE KING?

**mkblackwood:** “my gf”....

**mkblackwood:** she posted that yesterday…

**tiiim:** WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK?

**tiiim:** SO SHE’S WITH MELANIE KING

**mkblackwood:** JON FOLLOWS HER, I CHECKED. SO SHE WOULDN’T POST THIS IF SHE WAS CHEATING ON HIM…

**tiiim:** maybe it's a polycule situation

**tiiim:** maybe jon cheated on gerry with TWO mutual friends instead of one. fuck thats sad

**mkblackwood:** i don’t think it is? she hasn’t posted anything like this about jon. why would she give one partner preferential treatment

**tiiim:** maybe its a privacy thing?

**mkblackwood:** shit maybe. gerry did tell me that jon doesn’t like being on the internet so MAYBE

**mkblackwood:** but then, why would georgie have that other post of him in the gothic getup? its literally JUST 10 pictures of him that she isn’t in, and she tagged his account. so surely she’d have taken that one down?

**tiiim:** fuck you’re right

**tiiim:** why would jon be worried about a picture of him with his girlfriend being on instagram, but not the goth girl photoshoot he apparently did and is tagged in?

**mkblackwood:** also, jon clearly _liked_ gerry. i mean, they were genuinely happy and in love with each other when i saw them at 7-11 the other day. why would jon be in a relationship with _two_ close friends but not the third one whom he clearly also loves?

**mkblackwood:** it doesn’t make sense

**tiiim:** this is insane. were we wrong? there’s SOMETHING we clearly don’t know about!

**mkblackwood:** we KNOW melanie is dating georgie. we KNOW gerry likes jon, because he’s an open book. we know jon likes gerry because of how he acts around gerry. we know jon also likes georgie because he acts the way he did around gerry

**tiiim:** wait

**tiiim:** DOES he act the way he did with gerry when he’s around georgie?

**tiiim:** i mean, we haven’t even seen those two together, we’re really just going off a bit of audio and the way jon went out with her and then just didn’t come back

**mkblackwood:** yeah he left like he was desperate to escape lol

**mkblackwood:** wait

**tiiim:** ah

**tiiim:** was jon going out to be with georgie, or going out to avoid us?

**mkblackwood:** shit, tim

**mkblackwood:** i think we’ve made a big mistake




_WED 11:38 AM_

_Sasha’s iPhone: Notes_

“there is something he’s not telling me and i don’t understand what it is or why i am so desperate to find out but i cannot stop. of course, i cannot stop my own heartbeat, nor the rise and fall of my lungs in my chest. the flowing of my blood. the itching of my mind, i need to know. i need nothing more than to know. i worry about this deep-seated ache that has taken up residence in the pit of my stomach, twisting and churning and shrieking at the emptiness surrounding it. why am i hungry? i have never felt so starved. he has a story for me. he will tell the archive. he will”




_WED 11:39 AM_

_mkblackwood & tiiim message history: _

**mkblackwood:** what the fuck was that?

**tiiim:** no idea 

**tiiim:** hold on




_WED 11:39 AM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**tiiim:** hey boss

**tiiim:** everything alright in your office? there was like a large, green flash of light? or something?

**tiiim:** also i heard a click and now some whirring. you doing a statement?

**sarchivist:** i’m about to be

**tiiim:** oh okay, we’ll keep it down out here!

**tiiim:** uh

**tiiim:** what the fuck?

**tiiim:** okay i can clearly see that you’re not looking at your phone right now because you’re looking at jon, but why are you grabbing him?

**tiiim:** WAIT SASHA we found out he didn’t cheat on gerry or anything!! we were wrong

**tiiim:** aaaaand she’s gone

**tiiim:** and she’s locked the door. hope she doesn’t kill him

**mkblackwood:** we should listen in, maybe?

**tiiim:** oh definitely




_untitled audio recording 1 [11:30 AM]:_

[CLICK]

(There are sounds of shuffling, a chair scraping the floor, two people sitting down. The Archivist takes a deep breath)

ARCHIVIST: Statement of Jonathan Sims, regarding _what he is hiding_. Statement recorded direct from subject. Audio recording by Sasha James, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London-

JON: Sasha, what?

ARCHIVIST: There is something you’re not telling me.

JON: Well-

ARCHIVIST: And it is something you _want_ to tell me. I know this.

(There is a pause. Only Jon’s nervous breathing can be heard)

ARCHIVIST: It’s just us, please don’t worry. You need to tell me, and I _need_ to know.

JON: Turn that off, then.

ARCHIVIST: What?

JON: That- you’re recording this. Stop it, _please_.

ARCHIVIST: _What?_ I didn’t even-

[CLICK]




_untitled audio recording 2 [11:32 AM]_

[CLICK]

JON (sounding panicked): _Sasha._

ARCHIVIST: _What_ , Jon? Oh! Shit, did that just appear?

JON: It’s not you doing it?

ARCHIVIST: No, you watched me turn the other one off.

JON (softly): _What the fuck._ Sasha, turn it off.

ARCHIVIST: If I do, another one will replace it.

JON: _Sasha._

(The sound of a hand sharply grabbing someone else’s wrist, slamming it down on the desk between Jon and the Archivist. A pained noise from the back of Jon’s throat)

ARCHIVIST: I’ll pour water on it or something later, you don’t need to worry about it. Please just tell me whatever it is that I don’t know.

JON (desperately): Why? Why should I? Who are you to me that I owe you so much? Why do you want to know?

(The Archivist’s laugh is soft, little more than a short exhale. Yet somehow, it is cruel and cutting)

ARCHIVIST: _Need_ to know.

JON: What does that-

ARCHIVIST: _Jonathan Sims, what are you hiding from me?_

(A moment of silence. The choked sounds of someone trying and failing not to speak)

JON: Gerry and I were never together. 

JON: We’ve been lying this whole time, this whole week. When you all got upset with me and assumed things about me, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t say anything, because what could I say? I don’t know how to apologize. I don’t know anything. I’m the type of person who gets scared very easily. I jump at loud noises, I worry about everything, I don’t go anywhere alone. Most of all, I keep things to myself. You and I aren’t close. Same with Martin and same with Tim. We’re work friends, and then I leave work and none of you know enough to be a part of my life outside that. So, you can see how afraid I was, right? All three of you figured you knew me well enough to know what I was thinking, and throughout this week nothing has terrified me more than the prospect of correcting any of you with the truth. I’m bisexual! I’ve _been_ bisexual! But I couldn’t just come out, because who’s to say I wouldn’t fuck it up and make it look like a joke. Or worse, if you had all _believed_ me. How could I honestly say that my entire work persona was nothing like me? How could I possibly go about my days as normal with you all _knowing_ me in a way that I hadn’t been able to control? So I pretended to be in a relationship with Gerry, because he’s been my friend for years and it was the only thing I could think of doing that wouldn’t make it worse. _He_ is the only thing that wouldn’t make it worse. So we lied, and did a good job of it. 

JON: The relationship was fake, the breakup was fake, none of it was supposed to matter because it was an elaborate short-term lie to do away with a problem. But _you_ wouldn’t leave me alone. And now we’re here. Why are we HERE? Why are you DOING THIS TO M-

ARCHIVIST: I _asked_ you, and you _chose_ to answer.

JON (shouting): I DIDN’T CHOOSE! I DIDN’T

ARCHIVIST: And you _chose_ to lie.

JON: WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE? I JUST _SAID-_

ARCHIVIST: I just don’t appreciate being lied to.

JON: Sasha, do you know why I wasn’t out at work in the first place? Because I didn’t _want_ to be! That was my choice! And when you, Martin, and Tim misunderstood me, that wasn’t! I didn’t know what to _do_ , Sasha. I haven’t hurt anyone. It doesn’t _matter._ And now Gerry’s with Tim, so it literally can’t happen again. Please just let me leave.

ARCHIVIST: Hold on, _what?_

JON: Shit, sorry. I’m sorry, I know I’m being disrespectful and I shouldn’t-

(Something in the Archivist’s voice has changed. A slow exhale, as Jon finds that he is suddenly able to relax)

SASHA: Gerry’s with _who?_

JON (suddenly uncertain): ...Tim?

(Sasha laughs, and she does not sound like the Archivist)

SASHA: Jon, I am quite sure that he isn’t. Seriously, Tim’s a flirt, but he would _never_ go for someone he thought was mourning a recent breakup. 

JON: But they went out for drinks…

SASHA: For a first date? We all know that drunk Tim is the worst Tim.

JON: Huh.

SASHA: Speaking of dates, I guess that means your thing with Georgie wasn’t the dick move we thought it was. Sorry about that, I hope you two are happy together.

(It’s Jon’s turn to laugh)

JON: Me and _Georgie?_ What?

SASHA: I thought- didn’t you have a date with her the other day?

JON: Georgie’s my ex-girlfriend. We’re friends, but the novelty of _dating_ wore off years ago.

SASHA: Oh.

JON (sheepishly): To be honest, I really only went out for lunch with her so I could get away from the Archives for a bit. You all seemed upset, and it was making me nervous.

SASHA: Oh… Um. Georgie forgot to mute the phone when Tim called her that one time, and we thought you were cheating on Gerry with her…

JON: What?

SASHA (apologetic and a bit mortified): Sorry…

JON: I should be more upset, but this does indicate that I did a passable job of hiding my actual personality. I wouldn’t do that. Ever.

(A pause)

JON: I’m sorry I lied. And I’m sorry I was rude to Martin. 

SASHA: No, Jon, _I’m_ sorry. I mean, yeah. You did some shit too, apology accepted. But I am _so_ sorry for-

(A chair scraping against the floor)

JON (quickly): Don’t worry about it. I’ll just…

(He trails off. The sound of footsteps, and a door being unlocked)

SASHA: No, Jon, please don’t go. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me, but I-

JON: It’s alright. Um, I’m clocking out early. Bye.

(Jon’s breathing, ragged and unsteady, can be heard. A door closes. The shifting of elbows against wood, as Sasha buries her head in her hands)

[CLICK]




_12:30 PM_

_jonathan sims & gdelano message history: _

**jonathan sims:** are you home?

**gdelano:** always. whats on ur mind 

**jonathan sims:** can you let me in

**gdelano:** lmaoo skipping work again? theyre gonna fire u one day

**jonathan sims:** please dont say that

**gdelano:**?

**gdelano:** uhhh okay im opening the door

**gdelano:** gonna be real sad if youre not here

**gdelano:** shit shit you alright? what happened

**jonathan sims:** i dont want to talk

**gdelano:** oh my god please dont cry

**gdelano:** i dont know what to do.

**jonathan sims:** im not. its fine

**jonathan sims:** just

**gdelano:** yeah, yeah of course

**gdelano:** come here. come in, its okay

**gdelano:** ive got you




_12:30 PM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**sarchivist:** hey, sorry about that

**mkblackwood:** i just saw jon rush out, is he okay?

**sarchivist:** thats my fault. fuck, im sorry

**mkblackwood:** whoa, are _you_ okay?

**tiiim:** ^^^

**sarchivist:** NO 

**sarchivist:** i mean, im fine. but this isnt about me

**sarchivist:** actually, can you guys just step into my office really quick?

**sarchivist:** i have something you both should listen to

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sasha's eye powers r slightly different from jon's bc they are different ppl with the similar motivations but like. in every universe the plot gets busy and the gay archivist gets mean >:)


	9. love me, love me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **gdelano:** u missed me didn’t u?
> 
>  **jonathan sims:** hardly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gerry’s a white dude with a podcast so of course hes gonna try to impress his crush by reviewing a movie

_WED 1:00 PM_

_Excerpt from the transcript of “gerry talking about whatever he wants (secret episode!!)”_

(The sounds of movement, of two bodies trying to make space for each other in a chair that’s too small for them both. The quiet whir of a ceiling fan. The hum of a radiator. The soft sound of Gerry’s head hitting Jon’s shoulder and the silence of him keeping it there. The audio, clearly recorded on Gerry’s phone rather than any proper equipment, is fuzzy. It echoes slightly)

GERRY (smiling): Hey there, Jon.

(Jon’s laugh is mostly lost in his tired exhale, but it’s there)

JON: Hi, Gerry.

GERRY: Been dying to have you on the show.

JON: So I’ve heard.

(A pause)

JON: Sorry… I’m not-

GERRY: No, no! It’s fine. I just… It helps me? When I’m… nevermind. I can turn it off if-

JON: No need.

(More movement as Jon and Gerry press closer together)

JON: I don’t want to talk, though. I’m… I’m tired of having to explain myself, really. I keep panicking, saying things, and having everything go wrong and I don’t _want_ to anymore.

GERRY: That’s alright. Don’t have to do anything.

JON: Thank you.

GERRY: You need anything, though? I’m right here.

JON: Yeah, I see you. And - hm...

GERRY: Jon?

JON: I don’t know. I feel… like shit, honestly. But I don’t know that you can fix that for me.

(Jon breathes in and out with purpose. One, two, three)

JON (quietly): ...She said she was sorry.

GERRY: Who?

JON: Nevermind. I think… I’m done talking.

GERRY (softly): That’s okay.

JON: I’d rather just listen.

(Gerry’s smile, now reappearing, bleeds into the edge of his voice. He sounds far away now, almost muffled, as if he’s turned from the mic to speak into the crook of Jon’s shoulder)

GERRY: Well, you’re in luck. I’ve been told I never shut up.

JON: Really? Whoever would say such a thing?

GERRY: Oh, just _some_ guy. He’s a librarian or something, a real piece of work.

JON: Sounds dreadful. Hope he’s not around too much.

GERRY: Quite the opposite. I can’t get rid of him.

JON: I see. Something tells me you’re not trying hard enough.

GERRY: That’s generous. It’s more that I wouldn’t try at all.

(A pause)

JON: See, that’s on you, then.

(Gerry laughs)

GERRY (fondly): There you are. Right, this wouldn’t be an episode if I didn’t get to talking about whatever I want.

JON (teasing): Not going to thank your patrons? For shame, Gerry.

GERRY: This one’s not for them, _Jon_. It’s for you.

JON: ...Oh.

GERRY: Yeah, _oh._ Anyway, I have to talk about Train to Busan now.

JON (laughing): Well, don’t let me stop you.




_untitled audio recording 3 [1:00 PM]_

SASHA: Hey guys.

(Two sets of footsteps, belonging to Tim and Martin. They approach Sasha slowly, as if unsure of how to proceed)

TIM: Why are you-

SASHA: I’m not. Not on purpose, at least. The tape recorders just sort of… show up? I don’t get it, but turning one off just spawns another.

TIM (under his breath): _Weird._

MARTIN: Um… So, what did you… What’s wrong?

(Sasha sighs. A slight clattering, the sound of her retrieving a tape recorder from the pile of them that’s been steadily growing under her desk in the past week)

SASHA: It’s this. (a pause) When you both were listening at the door-

(Martin and Tim’s objections overlap)

TIM: What? We didn’t-

MARTIN: We weren’t!

SASHA: I know you were. What did- or, no. I would like to know how much you heard of my conversation with Jon.

MARTIN: Nothing, really.

SASHA (annoyed): Look, Martin, I already told you I knew you were listening. You can’t pretend otherwise.

TIM: No, he’s telling the truth. I couldn’t hear anything either. Just a lot of loud static.

MARTIN: We gave up after a bit. Couldn’t parse a word of it.

SASHA: Oh. That’s good, I suppose. I’ll fill you in from the beginning.

TIM: Yeah, no, I’d love some clarity. Because we just found out that Jon isn’t with Georgie at all, and that we sort of fucked him over.

SASHA: I discovered the same. 

MARTIN: He told you?

SASHA: I…

(a pause)

SASHA: I took his Statement, I think. A live Statement. 

TIM: So like, he told you? I’m not really seeing the significance of “statement”.

SASHA: He didn’t… Shit, I’m so sorry. 

MARTIN (comforting): What are you apologizing for? What’s going on?

SASHA: He _told_ me, but he didn’t _choose_ to. At least I don’t think. I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t. But he spoke like it was being torn out of him, and it’s my fault, and I don’t know what I did or how to fix it. Oh god, I don’t know how to fix it.

(Sasha’s composure breaks. She begins breathing heavily and drumming her fingers on the desk with a nervous speed)

MARTIN: Oh.

TIM: Shit, Sasha. 

SASHA: I know. God, I know. That’s why he left. But he explained _everything._ And I- I mean, the tape recorders… They- Um, I have it here. Everything he said. And, if we all know everything that’s going on, then maybe we can-

MARTIN (quietly): I don’t think we should. 

SASHA: What?

MARTIN: I just… I don’t need to know? I know enough, and that’s that Jon broke up with his boyfriend and is having a rough time of it. I’ve already done enough prying and I just feel _bad._ It didn’t help. It was just like “Oh! He’s a person I don’t know much about!” and I think he wanted to keep it that way.

TIM: Yeah, Sasha. I think we’re good.

SASHA: You never found out that-

TIM: It doesn’t matter.

(Sasha’s exhale makes her sound as if she’s groaning in pain. The sound of something being placed gingerly on a desk, so as not to jostle it any further)

SASHA: You’re right. Both of you are right.

TIM: Now, what I’m still concerned about is that green light shit that was happening. What was that?

SASHA: Hm?

TIM: Like, from your office when you brought Jon in? What was the light coming from?

SASHA: I… I didn’t notice a light?

MARTIN: A similar color was coming from your eyes the other day. I thought I was seeing things.

SASHA: Yeah, you messaged me with that. I was lost in thought, must not have noticed. 

TIM: Did you feel similar when you talked to Jon?

SASHA: I did. What are you trying to say?

TIM: I don’t know. But… I think it’s got to mean something. You guys feel like looking through statements?

MARTIN: What would we look for?

TIM: Don’t know. Like, eyeballs, green glowing things, compulsion. Sasha, you said he was forced to speak?

SASHA: Yeah… I didn’t threaten him or tell him he had to or anything like that. But looking back on it, I don’t think he could’ve said nothing if he wanted to.

TIM: We’ll look for that, then.

SASHA (small laugh): We’d be lucky if we found anything of note, really. I _still_ haven’t figured out what Gertrude Robinson’s filing system was. 

MARTIN: They’re organized by date, I think?

SASHA: Somewhat. And that’s only the written ones. The recorded statements just live in a big pile in a clutter of boxes. 

MARTIN: I could… go through those? Wouldn’t have to file them, would I?

SASHA: Don’t think you could. Thank you, Martin.

TIM: Guess we’re going through the written ones, then. I’ll start with the most recent ones.

SASHA: Great, that’s good. 

(A chair moving against the floor as Sasha rises to her feet)

SASHA: Let’s figure this out.

MARTIN: Oh, also.

SASHA: Yeah?

MARTIN: We should all probably apologize to Jon, shouldn’t we?

SASHA (decisively): Yeah, we should.




_WED 4:30 PM_

_jonathan sims & gdelano message history: _

**jonathan sims:** ok i thought you were joking. did you actually go away and fall asleep

**jonathan sims:** it’s the middle of the afternoon

**jonathan sims:** who are you? georgie? walking into another room for like one minute and passing out like a child. that is so embarrassing for you

**jonathan sims:** hold on

**jonathan sims:** if this is that thing where you’re just waiting in the doorway to scare me i am going to rip your door off its hinges




_WED 4:35 PM_

_jonathan sims & georgie! message history: _

**jonathan sims:** is gerry asleep

**georgie!:** well i certainly was

**georgie!:** also i dont know? why would i know?

**jonathan sims:** sorry

**georgie!:** you’re not

**jonathan sims:** just sleep at night! 

**georgie!:** just check on gerry! aren’t you at his flat?

**jonathan sims:** what if he attacks me

**georgie!:** what

**jonathan sims:** like as a joke

**jonathan sims:** to scare me and then say wow that was so funny

**georgie!:** goodnight jon

**jonathan sims:** it is not night

**georgie!:** die <3

**jonathan sims:** well. goodnight




_WED 4:36 PM_

_jonathan sims & gdelano message history: _

**jonathan sims:** moment of truth, i suppose

**jonathan sims:** [photo.png]

**jonathan sims:** unbelievable

**jonathan sims:** lying on your bedroom floor, dead to the world

**jonathan sims:** this is so HZBZHSBJKSJ

**jonathan sims:** FUCK YOU

**gdelano:** HAHAHAHAHA

**gdelano:** FUCKING GOT YOU AGAIN LMAOOO

**jonathan sims:** i knew you would do this. 

**gdelano:** DID YOU? DID YOU REALLY?

**jonathan sims:** shut UP

**gdelano:** BC IT SEEMS LIKE YOU DIDN’T

**gdelano:** this is so easy every single time. not once have i failed in scaring u

**jonathan sims:** i hate you

**gdelano:** today is a good day :)

**jonathan sims:** >:(

**gdelano:** fine fine. im sorry

**jonathan sims:** you are NOT

**gdelano:** i am not. however

**gdelano:** actually nvm i have no excuses

**jonathan sims:** are you a child? you’re not. you’re almost 30. why do you always do this to me

**gdelano:** maybe if u didn’t jump a meter in the air every time someone scared u, i would act like a normal person

**jonathan sims:** i don’t _jump_ when i’m startled

**gdelano:** u DO and its so funny

**jonathan sims:** ugh

**gdelano:** lmao

**gdelano:** u missed me didn’t u?

**jonathan sims:** hardly

**gdelano:** liar. anyway come here lie down

**jonathan sims:** on the floor?

**gdelano:** with me

**jonathan sims:** i’m not going to lie on the floor in your _room_ , where there’s a _bed_

**gdelano:** boring




_WED 4:59 PM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**mkblackwood:** one of these boxes literally has cobwebs on the outside…

**mkblackwood:** [photo.png]

**mkblackwood:** and there’s only one tape in it? 

**tiiim:** oh my god

**tiiim:** gertrude robinson really just put shit wherever

**sarchivist:** that’s so weird lol

**sarchivist:** tim and i haven’t found anything yet btw :(

**sarchivist:** maybe that tape is important?

**mkblackwood:** hope so!




_WED 4:59 PM_

_gdelano & jonathan sims message history: _

**jonathan sims:** seriously, you can get off the floor

**jonathan sims:** it’s depressing to look at

**gdelano:** says you

**jonathan sims:** what?

**gdelano:** u have been upset. not gonna make u talk about it but like. 

**gdelano:** you were crying

**gdelano:** if i can help, i will

**jonathan sims:** i mean

**jonathan sims:** i don’t mind telling you

**gdelano:** but do you _want_ to? im not abt to force you to tell me everything

**jonathan sims:** yeah thats what sasha did

**gdelano:** she _what?_

**jonathan sims:** oh lol now you’re finally off the floor

**gdelano:** jon

**gdelano:** please be serious

**jonathan sims:** i mean like she didn’t technically force me

**gdelano:** that is not reassuring. jon did she hurt you?

**jonathan sims:** no no no no she didn’t. she didn’t touch me she didn’t threaten me or raise her voice. she just asked me to tell her everything. and i did because i couldn’t stop myself. so she knows abt the lying thing now in full. and then i left

**gdelano:** so she asked you?

**jonathan sims:** she said to tell her everything and i felt compelled to answer. i tried not to. but i don’t think she knew she was doing it? she thought i chose to talk, i think. so like

**gdelano:** don’t make excuses for her

**jonathan sims:** sorry

**gdelano:** don’t apologize either. you dont need to

**jonathan sims:** okay

**jonathan sims:** but i want you to know she didn’t try to hurt me. she grabbed my wrist like once but she didn’t injure it

**gdelano:** you said she didn’t touch you

**jonathan sims:** i just remembered

**jonathan sims:** the memory is foggy, like im not sure what all the details were

**jonathan sims:** i remember being afraid

**gdelano:** shit jon

**gdelano:** im sorry

**jonathan sims:** and you tell _me_ not to apologize

**gdelano:** no, i mean that im sorry it happened

**jonathan sims:** oh

**jonathan sims:** you couldn’t have stopped it

**gdelano:** ok but still

**gdelano:** none of that should’ve happened to you and im sorry it did

**jonathan sims:** i think im alright now. you helped, so thank you

**gdelano:** of course

**gdelano:** im glad you left

**jonathan sims:** yeah

**gdelano:** im glad youre here with me

**jonathan sims:** me too




_WED 5:15 PM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**tiiim:** wowww look at us staying at work after hours

**tiiim:** just filing away

**mkblackwood:** UM OKAY HEY EVERYONE HI

**tiiim:** hi martin?

**sarchivist:** martin?

**mkblackwood:** I FOUND SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT SO IF YOU GUYS COULD WALK OVER HERE THAT WOULD BE GREAT

**sarchivist:** okay well, can you tell me what you found?

**mkblackwood:** its a recording that gertrude robinson made and i only listened to the first bit and then she mentioned your name sasha so like i think you should hear it

**tiiim:** holy shit




_WED 5:15 PM_

_gdelano & jonathan sims message history: _

**gdelano:** seriously though, what can i do?

**jonathan sims:** you’ve already done so much

**jonathan sims:** i mean that in a good way. you’re good. so thank you

**gdelano:** yeah but

**gdelano:** you got hurt

**jonathan sims:** you are already helping

**jonathan sims:** actually wait

**jonathan sims:** can you get me some water or something? 

**gdelano:** that it? yeah of course

**gdelano:** i’ll be right back

**jonathan sims:** oh also if i fall asleep _please_ wake me up!

**gdelano:** sure?

**jonathan sims:** i refuse to give georgie the satisfaction of me sleeping before dark

**gdelano:** lmfao alright

**gdelano:** glad ur feeling better

**jonathan sims:** yes yes i know

**gdelano:** ur not going to pretend to be asleep and scare _me_ now are you?

**jonathan sims:** …

**gdelano:** gotcha

**jonathan sims:**...would you believe me if i said i hadn’t even considered it?

**gdelano:** no <3




_WED 5:30 PM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**sarchivist:** FUCK

**sarchivist:** at least i know? sort of know? what i did. but holy shit. oh my god i used fear powers on jon

**sarchivist:** i didn’t even know. it felt _good_

**sarchivist:** shit

**sarchivist:** we need to tell him. he needs to know

**tiiim:** right but, not before we apologize right?

**sarchivist:** of course yeah but. this is insane. i need to make sure hes safe and i can’t _do_ that if i dont tell him whats going on

**sarchivist:** but youre right, and i havent contacted him yet because i _know_ im not in the proper headspace to give him a mature and genuine apology like i should but fuck i can’t wait on this? i can’t put it off, can i?

**tiiim:** sasha, i know what you’re saying but nothing is going to get done if you talk to him while you’re upset. 

**tiiim:** where are you now? you walked out a bit ago?

**sarchivist:** im in my office

**tiiim:** breathe, okay?

**tiiim:** you need to clear your head before you make any sort of important decision

**sarchivist:** i need to keep you all _safe_

**tiiim:** you will, i trust you. im walking over to you rn

**sarchivist:** okay

**tiiim:** i think you should head out? martin and i were about to anyway

**sarchivist:** i dont want to be alone right now

**tiiim:** yeah me neither. but its worse if you camp out here all night, come on. i’ll walk you home

**sarchivist:** thanks

**sarchivist:** let me get my coat

**tiiim:** sure

**sarchivist:** thank you tim. let’s go




_WED 5:30 PM_

_Excerpt from the transcript of “gerry talking about whatever he wants (secret episode 2: the second one)”_

GERRY: So, I called Jon’s bluff on the pretending to sleep thing. It’d be stupid to jump at me, because I already told him I expected it and also I’m holding water. He’s not gonna do it.

(pause)

GERRY: Which is _exactly_ what he wants me to think. 

(the sound of Gerry opening the door, quietly stepping inside)

GERRY (whispering): Alright, moment of truth. And he’s- Oh.

(silence. muffled shifting of fabric as Gerry sits on the edge of his bed)

GERRY (whispering): He’s actually asleep…Well, only one thing to be done.

(Gerry sets the glass of water on a table and takes a deep breath)

GERRY (yelling so very loud): HEY JON, WAKE UP!

(Jon fucking screams. The wild, shifting movements of him bolting upright and smacking Gerry on the arm. Gerry laughs through it. The dull thump of his phone being knocked out of his hand and hitting the bed sheets, now forgotten in the commotion. The audio is muffled, but can still be heard)

JON: Fuck you.

GERRY (grinning): Aw, but I got you water.

JON: At what cost? My life?

(Jon moves about a bit, grabbing the glass of water and draining it quickly. Gerry chuckles softly, and the sounds of movement continue as he brings his head back onto Jon’s shoulder)

GERRY: Didn’t realize you were this tired.

JON: Well. Rough day, right?

GERRY: Sorry I woke you.

JON (bemused): I told you to.

GERRY: Right.

(A pause, as Gerry bites back something he was about to say. There is silence for a second. He thinks hard about whether or not he wants it to be heard)

GERRY (quietly): You know I love you, right?

JON: I do. I love you too.

GERRY: And- And when I say that, I… It’s not like just, um… I’m-

JON: You’re in love with me. I know.

GERRY: What?

JON (slow and deliberate): I love you too.

GERRY: _Oh._

(A muted _thunk_ as Gerry lets himself fall backwards on his bed, against Jon’s lap. He slaps his hands over his face)

JON: Yeah, _oh._

GERRY: Well, if you knew! If you _knew!_ Why didn’t you _say?_

JON (defensively): Well, okay! I only found out like, yesterday, so I haven’t been holding out, really!

GERRY: Could’ve said something ‘like, yesterday’ then! How did you- who-

JON: ...Georgie told me.

GERRY: Of course.

JON: But, for what it’s worth, I think I’ve been in love with you for much longer.

GERRY: How long?

JON: Well…

GERRY: How _long_?

JON (quietly): Well, how long have I known you? About that long.

(Gerry makes a strangled noise)

GERRY: And you never _said._ But then again, neither did I.

JON (soft): Yeah.

GERRY: Like, we didn’t _know_ how the other…

(he trails off)

GERRY: But _you_ did! You said you already knew for a bit, and you didn’t throw yourself into my open arms or whatever. What’s with that?

JON (clearly flustered): I was going to…

GERRY: Good start. Well?

(Jon pauses, humming with no small amount of embarrassment. Gerry begins to laugh incredulously)

GERRY: What, Jon?

JON: Well, when I texted you that day… Uh, you said-

GERRY (delighted): _No way._

JON: You mentioned Tim and… Well!

(Jon trails off again. Gerry laughs even louder, and Jon yelps a bit as Gerry sits up and holds onto him tightly)

GERRY (murmuring, pressed close to Jon): This is the funniest thing you’ve ever told me. The _funniest._

JON: _Ugh._

GERRY: You told me you were _daydrinking_

JON: Are you really surprised that I lied to avoid being embarrassed? At this point are you really?

GERRY: _Shit_ , Jon. You’re crazy.

(For a moment, there is comfortable silence)

GERRY: We could’ve had this a long time ago, you know?

JON: I mean, we kind of already did.

(More sounds of movement and gentle laughter as Jon and Gerry turn to face each other. The sound of Jon’s leg hitting something suddenly. He stops)

JON: Is that your fucking phone?

GERRY: Shit! Sorry, I’m sorry! I dropped it and I forgot-

(It’s Jon’s turn to laugh. Gerry scrambles for the phone to shut it off. It takes him a bit, with all the distractions. The sound of Jon kissing Gerry on the forehead, on the cheek, on the corner of his mouth. With a decisive tap, the audio recording ends)




_WED 10:06 PM_

_sarchivist & jonathan sims message history: _

**sarchivist:** Hi, Jon.

**sarchivist:** I know you don’t want to hear from me right now, god knows I wouldn’t. But it’s not right if I don’t apologize for what I did. You deserve a genuine apology. Don’t feel pressured to respond before you’re ready, but

**sarchivist:** Can we talk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe this chapter took so long to write bc as i went thru i realized ah. i don't know how to write romance i've never done so... turned out fine in the end i think :)  
> alsooo i wanna add that i originally wrote this as a chatfic cause i thought it would be easier but MAN the constraints of a dialogue-only story are difficult when ur trying to write anything other than Silly Group Chat! do not recommend it


	10. say that you love me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **jonathan sims:** sasha texted and i didn't want to disturb you
> 
>  **gdelano:** you never do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter...

_WED 11:06 PM_

_jonathan sims & sarchivist message history: _

**jonathan sims:** hi sasha

**jonathan sims:** sorry about the late response, im free to talk

**sarchivist:** please don’t apologize, you haven’t done anything wrong

**jonathan sims:** okay

**sarchivist:** i’m going to say everything at once, you can interrupt at any time or stop me if you need. okay?

**jonathan sims:** that’s fine. go ahead




_WED 11:12 PM_

_gdelano & jonathan sims message history: _

**gdelano:** you still awake? where’d you go?

**jonathan sims:** kitchen

**jonathan sims:** sasha texted and i didn't want to disturb you

**gdelano:** you never do

**gdelano:** are you okay? u don’t have to talk to her if u dont want to 

**gdelano:** and i can talk to her. actually no u prob don’t want that, but i can hang over ur shoulder or smth

**jonathan sims:** i’m okay, please don’t worry

**gdelano:** i’m not worrying

**jonathan sims:** yes you are

**jonathan sims:** she’s apologizing, and she’s not going to ask me anything 

**jonathan sims:** wouldn’t say no to you hanging over my shoulder though

**gdelano:** ughhhhh okay gimme a minute

**gdelano:** now i have to get up 

**jonathan sims:** hey, you _offered_

**gdelano:** i did cause i was worried bc i love you but its COLD

**jonathan sims:** i love you too but you have the constitution of a baby

**jonathan sims:** the weather resistance of a dandelion

**gdelano:** wow okay

**jonathan sims:** just stay in bed i’ll come to you

**gdelano:** :)




_WED 11:20 PM_

_sarchivist & jonathan sims message history: _

**sarchivist:** first off, i want to say that i’m sorry i didn’t do this sooner or in person. i should have apologized to you the second everything happened. i didn’t feel as though i was _together_ enough to give a proper apology until now, but that still doesn’t excuse the fact that you went nearly half a day without hearing from me after what i did to you.

**sarchivist:** and as for everything i’ve done, i am so sorry jon. regardless of my intentions (which were _not_ to hurt you, but invasive nonetheless), i ignored your personal boundaries and your desire for privacy at work. i abused the authority that i have in the archives and put you in a situation where you were unable to refuse to answer my questions or leave. i grabbed you too, when i shouldn’t have touched you at all. there is nothing i can say to lessen the damage that i have already done, but i want you to know that i am aware that i was at fault for all of it and that you should never have been forced into those circumstances.

**sarchivist:** but my actions today do not exist in a vacuum. it wouldn’t be fair for me to absolve myself of the guilt of what i did today without also taking responsibility for the uncomfortable situations and invasions of privacy that i’ve allowed you to be subjected to in this past week as well.

**jonathan sims:** thank you sasha. i can’t blame you for some of the things you thought, though 

**jonathan sims:** i’m no great communicator. i had you all thinking i was homophobic in a work environment with lgbt staff

**sarchivist:** you were never the issue. the issue is that we _thought_ it, but didn’t actually ask you or talk to you about it. instead, we ended up putting you in a position where you felt the need to ask your friend to pose as your partner just to convince us of something that we could’ve found out if we chose to communicate with you. i am especially responsible for this, because of my position. it’s my _job_ to make sure that the archives are a safe work environment, and i didn’t do that. you shouldn’t have felt the need to lie, and i’m sorry that i caused this for you

**sarchivist:** tim, martin, and i should have _talked_ to you. i’m sorry i didn’t act maturely and interfere with all the bullshit we caused for you, gerry, and georgie. we assumed the worst of you on multiple occasions and excluded you in conversations. i truly hope your friendships with gerry and georgie haven’t suffered at all from this. if they have, i take responsibility for that. i’m sorry.

**sarchivist:** i also want to make it clear that you are not required to forgive me if you don’t feel that you should. you deserve this apology because you were not at fault for what happened, and however you choose to proceed is completely up to you. if you’d like to transfer out of the archives or leave the institute altogether, i’ll talk to elias about it and do everything i can to vouch for you.

**jonathan sims:** this is a lot

**jonathan sims:** wow um

**jonathan sims:** thank you sasha. i appreciate your words

**jonathan sims:** my relationships with gerry and georgie are unscathed, please don’t worry. and i won’t leave the archives, i don’t think

**sarchivist:** it’s okay if you’re unsure, but please don’t feel pressured to stay if you’re uncomfortable. you aren’t bound to this position.

**sarchivist:** wait

**jonathan sims:**?

**sarchivist:** ah shit




_WED 11:40 PM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**_tiiim added jonathan sims to the chat!_ **

**tiiim:** hi jon

**tiiim:** i’m just gonna get it out of the way: this is a gc we made like right after the music discussion where we all thought you were homophobic bc we didn’t want martin to not be able to talk to us without u also being there making him upset. but you’re not homophobic, and it was unfair of us to assume the worst of you

**tiiim:** the things i said and did are on me, i’m sorry i treated you that way. you should’ve gotten your privacy.

**mkblackwood:** i’m really sorry jon. you didn’t deserve any of this

**jonathan sims:** oh

**jonathan sims:** thank you 

**jonathan sims:** is sasha here too then?

**sarchivist:** yeah, hi 

**mkblackwood:** i genuinely feel awful for everything that’s gone on, but we’re here for you if you’ll have us. it's up to you

**tiiim:** ^^

**mkblackwood:** also, how are you holding up handling the whole gertrude tape thing? it’s got to be a lot

**mkblackwood:** i know when we all heard it, we freaked out and played it back like three times

**jonathan sims:** the what

**mkblackkwood:** uh

**mkblackwood:** did… did sasha not tell you? shit, sasha what the hell?

**jonathan sims:** what is the gertrude tape

**jonathan sims:** what does it have to do with me

**sarchivist:** oh my GOD martin i was literally just typing it all out for jon




_WED 11:40 PM_

_sarchivist & jonathan sims message history: _

**sarchivist:** [ _gertrudeaudio.mov_ ]

**sarchivist:** here, the audio’s a bit shite because i had to record myself reading a written transcript of the tape. it wouldn’t digitize properly.

**sarchivist:** but essentially, it's some spooky shit. this is a recording gertrude left in the archives for the next archivist to find, and it's so important that you hear it. many of the statements we read are real (as you may already know) and the things in them are dangerous. she explains everything

**jonathan sims:** right

**jonathan sims:** give me a moment

**sarchivist:** take as long as you need




_WED 11:43 PM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**sarchivist:** i sent him the audio just now, it’s alright

**mkblackwood:** sorry :(

**sarchivist:** no need to be, you’re fine! 

**tiiim:** jon, i hope you’re alright

**tiiim:** wish you didn’t have to listen to it all alone

**jonathan sims:** i’m not don’t worry

**tiiim:** oh, good

**jonathan sims:** gerry’s here too

**tiiim:** huh




_WED 11:50 PM_

_jonathan sims & gdelano message history: _

**jonathan sims:** that was all real right?

**jonathan sims:** you heard it?

**gdelano:** yeah

**jonathan sims:** sorry about the texting, but i dont know if i can talk about it out loud. it feels surreal

**gdelano:** i know

**gdelano:** i hope this isnt the wrong thing to say but

**gdelano:** i almost expected smth like this, what with leitners and shit being real

**jonathan sims:** god yeah

**gdelano:** wait shit im sorry

**gdelano:** jon im sorry i wasnt thinking

**jonathan sims:** im alright

**gdelano:** youre not

**jonathan sims:** fine. i’m not, but i think i agree.

**jonathan sims:** that fucking spider book was real, so why not this?

**gdelano:** yeah

**gdelano:** goddamn




_WED 11:59 PM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**tiiim:** glad you’re not by yourself, at least

**sarchivist:** take your time with it jon, i know it’s a lot and i’m sorry to spring this on you so suddenly

**sarchivist:** but know this: i’m the archivist, so i’m going to do everything i possibly can to keep you, tim, and martin safe. and by extension, everyone else. i’m so sorry you’re bound to this job but i am never going to put you in the way of any sort of supernatural power again

**jonathan sims:** i have a question

**sarchivist:** of course, whatever you want to know

**jonathan sims:** when you were asking me about everything, was it actually you?

**sarchivist:** i mean

**sarchivist:** i wasn’t a different person suddenly. i was under the influence of the beholding, but that doesn’t magically absolve me of guilt. i think those powers are a part of me, not a separate identity

**jonathan sims:** part of you or not, you didn’t know did you?

**sarchivist:** no. martin found the tape hours after you had left and i didn’t know before

**jonathan sims:** i see

**jonathan sims:** i forgive you

**sarchivist:** are you certain?

**jonathan sims:** _yes_

**jonathan sims:** you apologized, you won’t do it again

**jonathan sims:** i guess it seems simplistic when i write it out, but if what that audio recording tells us is real then i have to trust you. and i want to, so i will.

**sarchivist:** okay

**sarchivist:** thank you, jon

**jonathan sims:** but where do we go from here? what do we _do?_

**sarchivist:**...i don’t know

**sarchivist:** i think i need to gather information? but i don’t want to take live statements, so i’ll have to figure out some other way to proceed

**tiiim:** sasha, we’re here to help

**mkblackwood:** ^^^

**sarchivist:** honestly i’d like to keep you three out of it

**sarchivist:** it seems like this is my role

**mkblackwood:** it’s not just you alone in this, we can help!

**sarchivist:** martin

**sarchivist:** how much do you know about gertrude robinson’s assistants?

**mkblackwood:** not really anything, why?

**sarchivist:** well. she had three of them, like i do now

**sarchivist:** and they helped her out with her work, in the same way you’re offering to it seems

**sarchivist:** now, all of them are dead. disappeared at the very least

**sarchivist:** i don’t know if gertrude had a hand in that. but i’m NOT letting that happen to you three. i’m not going to protect myself by using my assistants as cannon fodder for gathering intel on something we _don’t understand_

**jonathan sims:** this is just a suggestion so feel free to ignore. but gerry’s had an idea

**tiiim:** yeah? let’s hear it

**jonathan sims:** what if the people helping sasha weren’t part of the institute? 

**jonathan sims:** or, even better, weren’t susceptible to fear at all?

**sarchivist:** oh

**tiiim:** hell yes

**mkblackwood:** actually wait i’m a bit confused

**mkblackwood:** i get that the people outside the institute are all the influencers that jon is inexplicably friends with, but who do you know that’s immune to fear?

**jonathan sims:** hold on let me get someone's permission for something




_THURS 1:34 AM_

_London’s Sweethearts (and gerry) message history:_

**jonathan sims:** georgie and melanie but mostly georgie hello this is important

**georgie!:** finally you text me at a reasonable hour

**jonathan sims:** you know what?

**jonathan sims:** i’m going to ignore that because i’m being serious

**georgie!:** oh? you okay?

**jonathan sims:** [ _gertrudeaudio.mov_ ]

**mx.mel:** jon are you giving us podcast recs at 1 in the morning

**jonathan sims:** please just listen

**georgie!:** holy shit

**mx.mel:** …

**mx.mel:** what is this?

**jonathan sims:** [screenshot.png]

**mx.mel:** holy shit

**georgie!:** well i mean, at least _i_ don’t have to worry about fear entities terrorizing me

**georgie!:** WAIT OH

**jonathan sims:** yeah

**jonathan sims:** it’s a lot to ask, but i think the archives need allies or at least other people in some capacity

**mx.mel:** so jon

**mx.mel:** are you sending this because you think that your friends will be willing to do supernatural field work for your research institute, essentially involving us in an end of the world plot? you think that me and georgie and gerry will be willing to risk our lives for this? do you think _i’m_ willing to dive headfirst into this with almost no basis or prior knowledge?

**jonathan sims:** oh

**jonathan sims:** shit, i’m sorry

**mx.mel:** because YEAH i absolutely am

**mx.mel:** i’ve seen some of those statements. i could squeeze out an episode of ghuk for each individual one if i tried. this is PERFECT

**jonathan sims:** oh thank god

**jonathan sims:** melanie dont DO that >:(

**mx.mel:** what? you don’t want my help?

**jonathan sims:** NO

**jonathan sims:** I MEAN YES I DO

**georgie!:** omg melanie leave him alone

**georgie!:** does everyone at the institute know about this?

**jonathan sims:** only the archives, i believe. and elias

**georgie!:** i knew that guy was fucked up

**jonathan sims:** i feel like you couldn’t have predicted this

**georgie!:** ok no but

**georgie!:** he called south asia “the colonies” didn’t he? you should’ve known

**gdelano:** DID HE REALLY

**mx.mel:** morning gerry

**gdelano:** JON YOU DIDN’T TELL ME LMAO

**jonathan sims:** no i figured georgie and melanie would get more of a kick out of it

**georgie!:** sorry white boy <3

**jonathan sims:** but also, this is serious!

**jonathan sims:** will you help? also can i tell martin you’re immune to fear?

**georgie!:** yes and yes, just don’t tell him the reason im like this

**jonathan sims:** got it

**jonathan sims:** thank you thank you thank you




_THURS 1:45 AM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**mkblackwood:** uh, jon?

**jonathan sims:** georgie is medically unable to feel fear 

**sarchivist:** like actually?

**jonathan sims:** yeah thats why shes a podcaster

**sarchivist:** holy shit

**tiiim:** this is actually really good? she has a huge platform, she can reach out to ppl to give _and_ get information

**tiiim:** same with ghost hunt uk

**jonathan sims:** exactly!

**mkblackwood:** this is good! things can be good!

**sarchivist:** yeah

**sarchivist:** thank you, jon

**jonathan sims:** you would’ve done the same if i was in your shoes

**sarchivist:** i mean it, though

**sarchivist:** i’ve put you through an unimaginable amount of shit, and here you are helping me without hesitation. thank you

**sarchivist:** and this goes for all three of you. you’re good people, and you’re people i trust. as long as i’m alive, no supernatural entity is going to hurt you.

**tiiim:** thank you, sasha. and you too, jon

**mkblackwood:** ^^

**mkblackwood:** do you think we can just. carry on as normal? i mean, what else do we do?

**tiiim:** i mean i'm not coming in tomorrow ive already decided

**tiiim:** or i guess _today_. it's morning…..

**sarchivist:** lucky :(

**tiiim:** can’t skip a day of work, sasha?

**sarchivist:** whenever i don’t show up early, elias starts texting me the names and addresses of my extended family members -_-

**sarchivist:** it’s so annoying

**tiiim:** fuckin freak

**tiiim:** martin? what about you? 

**mkblackwood:** if we’re bound to the institute, we literally can’t get fired right?

**sarchivist:** pretty much

**mkblackwood:** then i guess i could :0

**mkblackwood:** i don’t want to leave you alone, though :(

**sarchivist:** aww i mean i welcome the company

**tiiim:** next time then

**tiiim:** of which we have many

**tiiim:** jon? how about you?

**jonathan sims:** he’s asleep lol -gerry

**mkblackwood:** oh hi gerry!

**jonathan sims:** hi martin! 

**jonathan sims:** anyway jons not going anywhere tmrw if i can help it ok goodnight

**mkblackwood:** wait wait wait

**mkblackwood:** are you and jon, like, okay?

**tiiim:** ^^^

**tiiim:** yeah you guys split pretty abruptly?

**jonathan sims:** oh uh

**jonathan sims:** yes

**jonathan sims:** ok bye xoxo

**_jonathan sims left the chat!_ **

**tiiim:** right then

**mkblackwood:** that was a very jon move

**mkblackwood:** if they were together then, they seem fine?

**tiiim:** yeah, seems like it

**tiiim:** i guess sasha fell asleep at some point too

**mkblackwood:** it _is_ pretty late. i’m going to head to bed, since i’m the only one actually showing up to work voluntarily and all

**tiiim:** now who could that be directed at? i wonder

**mkblackwood:** good night, tim

**tiiim:** night!




_THURS 2:05 AM_

_sarchivist & gdelano message history: _

**sarchivist:** i’m not sure if jon let you know, but i know about the fake relationship thing. and i’m incredibly sorry for my involvement in all of it. i know about it, but it’s just me.

**sarchivist:** obviously, i’m not going to tell tim and martin. that’s up to jon. for all they know, you two just had a brief rough patch. but i really don’t know if it’s a good idea to _continue_ the lie…

**gdelano:** oh shit hi

**sarchivist:** yeah i probably should’ve led with a greeting

**gdelano:** it’s cool

**gdelano:** we’re not

**sarchivist:** sorry?

**gdelano:** like

**sarchivist:** OH

**sarchivist:** oh i see! i’m happy for you two!

**gdelano:** thank you :)

**gdelano:** for real tho im gonna sleep bye

**sarchivist:** oh, okay! good night!




_THURS 7:00 AM_

_jonathan sims & sarchivist message history: _

**jonathan sims:** hi sasha, did something happen to the archives chat?

**sarchivist:** OH SORRY, i’ll add you back!

**sarchivist:** gerry was talking in there from your phone, and i think he got embarrassed? 

**jonathan sims:**...by what?

**sarchivist:** [screenshot.png]

**sarchivist:** [screenshot.png]

**sarchivist:** don’t worry, tim and martin don’t know and they won’t unless you say something

**jonathan sims:** ah, i see

**jonathan sims:** you know, in the spirit of workplace privacy i honestly am not going to say anything

**sarchivist:** i get that

**sarchivist:** you two were pretty much a couple to begin with anyway

**jonathan sims:** don’t i know it




_THURS 7:00 AM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**_sarchivist added jonathan sims to the chat!_ **

**sarchivist:** welcome back, jon

**jonathan sims:** hi :)

**tiiim:** you people are insane to be awake rn

**jonathan sims:** we have work?

**tiiim:** allegedly

**sarchivist:** tim has decided that he’s taking a day off, now that we know it’s pretty much impossible to get fired from the archives lol

**jonathan sims:** that’s smart. get some rest, tim

**tiiim:** i will! i will do that!

**jonathan sims:** hope you won’t mind if i’m running a few minutes late then sasha?

**sarchivist:** well

**sarchivist:** gerry seemed pretty dead-set on not wanting you to come into work at all today so like

**jonathan sims:** he cannot possibly mean that




_THURS 7:05 AM_

_jonathan sims & gdelano message history: _

**jonathan sims:** heading back to my flat, i’ve got to get ready for work

**gdelano:** do not

**gdelano:** i am very dead set on not wanting u to go to work at all today




_THURS 7:05 AM_

_NORMAL PEOPLE FROM THE ARCHIVES message history:_

**jonathan sims:**...i stand corrected

**mkblackwood:** enjoy your day, then! 

**jonathan sims:** thank you

**mkblackwood:** and i’m glad you and gerry worked everything out!

**jonathan sims:** yeah, me too




_THURS 7:06 AM_

_jonathan sims & gdelano message history: _

**jonathan sims:** what am i to do all day, then?

**gdelano:** get more than 4 hrs of sleep

**jonathan sims:** that was you. _i_ got 5

**gdelano:** oh well in that case!

**gdelano:** no 

**gdelano:** hang out with me

**jonathan sims:** …

**jonathan sims:** i truly can’t argue with that logic

**gdelano:** :)




_THURS 2:50 PM_

_Excerpt from the transcript of “gerry talking about whatever he wants (secret episode 3: number three the third)”_

(The sound of running water, and dishes knocking together as they’re set down in the sink. Jon yawns as he steps back and approaches Gerry. The movements of a chair against floor tiles as Jon takes a seat)

JON: Alright, done. 

GERRY (smiling): Thank you. You didn’t have to, you know? It’s _my_ flat.

JON: At this point, I’m over enough to have some claim over the chores. Besides, it was the least I could do after- Oh? We’re doing this again?

GERRY: Doing what?

(Jon taps the edge of Gerry’s phone with his finger)

JON: _This._ I can’t be _that_ entertaining, who are these for?

GERRY (light laugh): I said it before. They’re for you. Also, for me.

(a pause)

GERRY (quietly): I like hearing your voice.

JON: Well, you’re in luck. I’ve got something I should say.

GERRY: Yeah?

JON: When I told you that I love you, I didn’t do it right. I was- I mean, I wanted to _decide_ to tell you. But with the way it ended up, you told me and I just agreed with you.

GERRY: Well, I didn’t really-

JON: Let me finish. I can do better.

(Jon intertwines Gerry’s hand with his and brings it to his lips)

GERRY: ...Go on.

(Jon inhales, soft and slow)

JON: You are the most important person in my life. You always have been. It’s not new. You don’t know everything about me, but you _know_ me in such a way that everything I’ve ever done comes back to you. I came to you yesterday because it didn’t occur to me for a second that I should go to anyone else. You’re the first one I tell…well, basically everything. I’m always thinking _Gerry should hear this,_ or _Gerry would like this_ , or _I miss him_ . Do you know how long I’ve loved you? I don’t remember what it’s like to feel anything different. I always seek you out. And I trust you. And you’re the only person who can tell me that I’m going to be okay and actually have me _believe_ it. 

(Even the air holds still. Slowly, Gerry stands up)

JON: And...yeah. That’s all I have, really. I needed to say it. Um, are you-

GERRY: _Jon._

(The sound of Jon being pulled gently to his feet. He hums appreciatively as Gerry runs his hands through his hair, holding tightly to his waist. Gerry speaks in a hushed tone. It is as if the air has been knocked out of him. It is as if he thinks talking too loud will frighten away the delicate devotion that has crawled into his chest and settled there)

GERRY (breathless): _I love you._ I… (his words dissolve into a lingering grin, muffled as he presses his face into the crook of Jon’s neck)

JON: Well, don’t get embarrassed now.

GERRY: Oh, fuck off.

JON: ...Tell me again?

GERRY: I…

JON (quickly): Or don’t! You don’t have to. Just be here, it’s okay.

GERRY: No, none of that. Ask me once and I’ll do anything. I love you. 

(The sound of a brief kiss)

GERRY: I love you.

(With the sound of quick motion, Gerry snatches his phone up from where it sits on the kitchen table, speaking directly into it. His voice is clear and bright)

GERRY (slow and deliberate): _I love you._

(What else can Jon do but kiss Gerry sweetly, dizzy with fondness? He wants to, and he does. Again, and again, and again)

[RECORDING ENDS]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and there you have it, jongerry supremacy.  
> for real though, this is the first fic i've ever really written and the first writing project i've ever really finished. i had so so so much fun with it and every single person who commented, gave kudos, and bookmarked this fic have consistently made my day every day. i love u all :) and i hope you have enjoyed reading baby's first fanfic as much as i enjoyed making it.  
> as for other things, i started a witch au series called cold spot a bit ago and im going 2 update that a bit. im also doing nanowrimo this year, so i'll post my project for that in a few weeks.  
> thankyou to everyone who read this you are soooo smart <3


End file.
